Many people are angry. I am one of those people. Many people are, quite frankly, scared. I am sad to realize that I am one of those people, too. But, more and more, there are people who are coming out of this nationally shared "Citizen's Coma", and stepping up to take a stand for those values that have, from the very beginning, defined democracy in the USA.
It would be dishonest of me to keep myself from this list, as well. For me, the disagreements between us as citizens is at all-time levels. The more I read, observe, and see, the more concerned I become. The "why" of it all is something I clearly understand. I do not, however, believe in the "inevitable" conclusion which many would have us believe and/or accept.
If you will follow me below the squiggleythingey, I'd like to talk with you about that.
While attempting to re-create a life devastated by illness, homelessness, and joblessness, I was able to reconnect with a friend I hadn't heard from in more than 35 years. That was almost three years ago.
Tonight we had a really awful argument that was politically based. Now, there are incredibly hard feelings in the pit of my stomach. Many of the issues which we had worked well together on, in the same Progressive organization, have suddenly come between us. Leave it to say that these are the most fundamental issues, and have suddenly created disagreements which I dare say will never be overcome between us. I hope that is not true, but I have (again) come to the conclusion that I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. That is, I think, what she was trying to do: "Go along to get along." Predictably (but to her credit, I think), even the longest attempt has results that have only today placed themselves into the center of our friendship.
It began rather innocuously enough while, at dinner, she told me that she believes Mitt Romney will be our next President--and that he should be. I thought she was kidding, and learned she was not kidding at all. She said she has felt this way for a long period of time, but felt uncomfortable stating her beliefs around me. That hurt. She then pretty much vomited out a list of beliefs she holds which are in direct opposition to my beliefs. They are difficult to accept from her. Many of the beliefs she revealed to me tonight are very personal ones. But, to put not-too-fine a point on it, she is very conservative in her beliefs.
I am on this site because, in a very real way, Kos is an island where I belong. I am a true Progressive, a Radical, and a Democrat. I apologize for none of these descriptors. Nor would I ask her to apologize for those which apply to her. Yet, this evening things went quickly past political ideology or policy, trampled past personal and were last seen heading over the cliff. I feel absolutely terrible. Sometimes, you just know when you have lost relationship with someone you called "friend" for the vast majority of your life. At this point, the change is just sucking the soul out of me. I just don't see a tomorrow with this friendship in it.
Is that what was going on in America around 1750? 1850? 1950? 2010? Tomorrow?
In each of these instances, citizens had deeply held convictions that ruled their morality, and their lives. Their beliefs, and especially their political beliefs often became the schism from which relationships never recovered. Some did, to be sure. In fact, from differing perspectives many friendships became families. But how does one purposely put one's brother, or father--or friend in the gunsights, with the absolute conviction that they must die? How does someone purpose to make someone else a second class citizen, much less in this country? And, then think and proudly boast that such a move is the only best move to make? I don't understand that thinking. That is one reason why I have always been a Democrat, I guess. I know it is why I became, many years ago, a Progressive.
To say that someone does not deserve equal opportunity, equal citizenship, or equal access does not make sense to me. I fully recognize that, to many others, such thinking is completely rational, logical, and sound. Such people say that marriage is between one man and one woman, for instance. As a gay man, I find this quite disturbing. I also find all which flows from such thinking, from regarding inheritance rights, marital tax privileges, adoption standards--all the way to bestiality and child moletation to be anything but rational thinking.
I know that many such people believe in their hearts that only removing taxes from the richest citizens will help save our economy; the "job creators" are our friends. Taking profits earned from your US domiciled company offshore to Zug, Switzerlnd is the privilege of the monied, they say. They have somehow earned this right because of the jobs they have created in the US. I know they believe this, in their logical minds. I believe, however, that this is a complete and undeniable total load of Brahma fecal matter of the very highest quality! I can carefully and completely argue my reasonings for my conviction on this point, to the point of being proud of my delivery. Yet, it is to no avail whatsoever. I listen, carefully, to their arguments. I respond with facts, to be shut down by the thundering sound of a mind closing. Perhaps it is their fear of having their opinions changed, and the ensuing carnage that would make in their world that does it. I've never been afraid to apologize for my beliefs. Why are they? Where there is no discussion, there is no progress. I want progress. As I have come to learn, some people just don't. It's truly an "Inconvenient Truth" for them, and one they simply do not wish to expose to the light of reason and fact.
As I learned tonight, for some folks there is nothing at risk worth the effort, either. Is that what the founding fathers were facing when they were talking sedition against the British Monarch? Intrancigence and intractability? Is that what brought the American Revolution to fruition? What then led that Revolution to success? Is this what the Northern Senators faced when they attempted to have meaningful debate with the Southern Sons? Was it merely a failure of discussion? Or, was it that failure of discussion which brought about Fort Sumpter's long night? At what point did reason and logic win the day?
It didn't. Overwhelming death and defeat won the day. It's hard to have a war when nobody on the opposing side shows up. When citizens hide in their homes, silence is their consent. I want to imagine a different tomorrow for the world.
I want to imagine a different tomorrow for my nation, and my state. But, most of all, I want to imagine a different tomorrow with my friend.
Perhaps, with some time and distance, an opportunity will come that will allow both of us to show up in the roles we cherish most: friends. I do not wish or desire that my friend thoughtlessly subscribe to my thinking. But, I do require anyone who desires to be my friend to respect me as a person, as a citizen, and as a thinking, feeling human being with the rights afforded all members of our society. I'm told that's not possible.
I imagine a tomorrow when it will not only be possible, but the reality shared between two friends.