Everyone is worthy of respect.
I've found that if I choose to respect someone, they often treat me better. Maybe not well, maybe not to the standard to which I'd like to become accustomed, but better than they are treating other people.
I have heard for years that people have to earn respect. That no one should just automatically be treated with respect. I've heard this mostly from younger people and from Republicans, but I can't actually blame it on Republicans because where I live 90% of the people are Republicans, so of course I'm going to hear from more of them than anyone else. It always bothered me to hear this because it never made sense to me.
I've been pondering why it bothered me and why saying people had to earn respect didn't make sense to me.
Maybe I'll never really know why, but this is the direction I'm heading. People who say others have to earn their respect will never ever give their respect to anyone. the bar they've set for treating others respectfully is too high. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that anyone can do to earn their respect. What respect they give is based on misperceptions, hearsay, fantasy, and unrealistic expectations and as soon as the person they claim to respect reveals any kind of crack in the facade imposed upon them, that respect is shattered. It has to - it was never given to a real person and was not based on any kind of reality.
It's easy for them to treat other people as if they were trash because, in their minds, no one except themselves and whomever they are currently idolizing is ever worthy of respect. They may hold some respect for dead people because the dead can't do anything to destroy the fragile and easily rent respect they extend to others.
Why have they set the bar so high? I don't know.
But I do know how it plays out in society. It plays out mean and ugly. If they don't respect others,t hen only their own needs and wants matter and all other people are there to be used, ignored, walked on, spat on, hurt, and even killed because they don't matter. They weren't worthy of respect. Ever. It's OK to yell at strangers, to cut people off, to flip them off, to short tip them, to pepper spray them over a knick knack gift the recipient probably doesn't want. It's OK to trample them because no one is worthy of respect except distant idols. No one deserves consideration.
They've been taught - or perhaps decided all on their own - that the only people worthy of respect are saintly people who can do absolutely no wrong. Preferably people who live far away and are rich and famous. Until they flub somehow.
And that's not how it really is, or should be.
I've even seen the definition of respect change from "Treating someone with deferential regard" to "admiring someone deeply for their achievements, abilities, or qualities". In the latter definition, when the person they admire deeply shows themselves to be human, with frailties and foibles incumbent upon being human, their so-called respect is "betrayed" and they "can't respect that person anymore ever again".
Respect is not about admiration. It's about manners. It's about showing regard for others. It's about showing consideration. It's about not interfering with the routine actions of others or avoiding violating them. It's a state of believing everyone has some innate worthiness.
Respect is not earned. It is given. It is a gift. It is a gift that costs us nothing to give and repays us many times over. It can be as simple as meeting someone's eyes and smiling. It can be waiting for the other person to finish their sentence even when you know what they are going to say. It means waiting your turn in a check out line or in switching lanes as you drive down the street. It means allowing the other person to be a dignified human being.
It means forgiving their humanity, the mistakes and foibles and eccentricities that make us each unique.
Respect is agape - love and kindness, courtesy, the sure knowledge that other people, every other person, deserves to be treated kindly, to be treated gently, to be treated as if they mattered.
That's what respect is.
Itzl knows this. If a little 4 pound dog knows this, why don't 100+ pound humans know it?
He respects people by letting them walk through the door first, and if they indicate he should precede them, he does so speedily and with a thankful glance over his shoulder. He doesn't intrude on their space unless they invite him. He waits for them to indicate what they want or need then does his best to fulfil it. He never barks at them, and he only "talks" if they talk to him first. He doesn't trip them up or treat them as if they didn't exist.
Dogs give respect automatically. People should, too.