Hello, Kossacks. I want to wish you all a wonderful Hanukkah, Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and New year's Day. I hope that all of you who celebrate the winter holidays will have the chance to spend some time with family and friends. For everyone else, there is always Chinese take-out and a movie.
In the grand scheme of things, I am very fortunate. I have a great husband, three wonderful kids, and a splendid daughter-in-law. She's a real doctor, not just a doctor of archaeology. They are all spending the weekend here at casa blue jersey. I also have a good job, food on the table, a roof over my head, and I am represented in Washington by Rush Holt. I really can't complain about much. However, in honor of Festivus, I would like to air a few grievances.
Please follow me below the orange squiggle of power.
Here's the Festivus pole, and here are my grievances:
1. Whose idea was it to schedule a final exam for a class of 120 students on the evening of December 22? When did the schedulers expect us to grade these exams? The university closed for everyone else at 4 pm on December 23rd, but I guess that someone expected us to spend the holiday weekend grading. I want just 5 minutes alone in a room with the scheduler. I would like to invite him or her to join us in grading these exams. Nothing says Christmas like reading essays on the rise of the Egyptian state and Mesolithic subsistence in Europe.
2. Who invented fruitcake? I like desserts, but most of the fruitcakes I have encountered in my 60 years on this planet are just plain inedible. The only person I ever knew who actually liked fruitcake was my mother. There are days that I suspect that there are only a few fruitcakes on this planet, and people just keep re-gifting them. And can someone please explain why the cherries in fruitcake are neon green?
3. Why is Rep. Sensenbrenner (R-Outer Space) criticizing the First Lady's body? Mrs. Obama has a body to die for, and Sensenbrenner charitably looks like a sack of potatoes. I would trade bodies with the First Lady any day. She is drop-dead gorgeous.
OK, those are my grievances. The floor is open. WYFP?