For me, voting "uncommitted" has nothing to do with who I fully expect or even want to be the Democratic Party Nominee in 2012. It certainly won't be because I pine for some mythical candidate to mount a primary challenge. It won't even be solely to show solidarity with elements of Occupy Iowa/Occupy Des Moines/Occupy the Caucuses, though many of my sympathies are with them.
I will initially stand as "uncommitted" because, in my tiny rural Southern Iowa town, it will provide a rare opportunity for a low income person to have a voice in a process that does too little to include us, our issues, and to get us out to vote.
And because caucuses are not like private voting booths where you have the anonymous luxury of creating havoc with the other Party's process.
When I moved here from the Twin Cities a couple of months before the 2008 General Election, I was asked, for the first time in my life, to to register as either D, R, or I.
Though I was slightly taken aback because Minnesota did not require Party identification, I was mostly anticipating, and even relishing our side's victory. I surmised there would be no Democratic Primary in 2012, and fantasized mischief-making at the GOP caucuses the next time they rolled around.
The clerk at the County Court House assured me that I could attend either caucus as an independent.
The Yellow Dog Democrat in me felt guilty, like it was some partisan form of going back into the closet. I had rarely missed a caucus, let alone a vote, nor had I voted for anyone other than a Democrat since reaching majority in 1973, so I chalked it up to more of a pantry raid.
1973, not so coincidentally, was the same year I came out publicly as a Gay Man.
Now the thought of masquerading as a Republican fills me with shame and dread, even if I believed I could actually fool or convince anybody.
I'm not deluded enough to think I could mess up the Republican Clown Show any worse than they are doing on their own.
Besides, I'd never find a beard.
My first year as a repatriated Iowan, in 2009, was an emotional roller coaster. I discovered after moving here, that despite having a Democratically controlled Legislature and Administration, Iowa was among the nine states that had diverted and depleted their ADAP (Aids Drug Assistance Program) Funding. ADAP paid my enormous co-pays on HIV drugs, and for the first time since 1986, I would have to go untreated. 9 months later, with some help from Sen. Tom Harkin's office and through the diligence of some great State DHS workers, the situation was resolved and my viral load and T-cells have since been in check.
The more exhilarating part of the 2009 ride came in April, when the Iowa Supreme Court ruled unexpectedly in favor of same-sex marriage.
My partner, Kenny (aka Gunter) and I were so proud and excited we almost rushed out and tied the knot, until we came down enough to realize that even after 13 years together, neither of us had any real desire to be married.
We also saw newly-poor straight neighbors living in deeply valued long term marriages having to consider divorce to protect or obtain much needed health care or food or heating assistance.
The Health Care debate was raging by August of 2009 and my other U.S. Senator, Chuck Grassley, was drawing angry mobs of newly FOX/CNN incited teabaggers to his "Town Halls" by promising to stop the crazy socialists from "pulling the plug on Grandma."
I was upset enough about my own declining predicament, but what really rankled me was the lack of visible HCR supporters on the local news, or any push back outside of the
fractured netroots and on MSNBC.
I may have hated all the concessions being made by Democrats, but the hate from the other side was downright frightening.
When Grassley announced a town hall 40 miles up the road, I practically begged the few progressive relatives and their friends I knew to come with me. None would, so I went alone.
It was scheduled to be held in a park pavilion, but the crowd was so large they were marched to the largest building in town, a fundamentalist church. After the prayers, and, I kid you not, a reading from an autographed copy of a Glen Beck book, angry and frightened citizens stood to decry the socialist takeover, death panels, the illegitimate President, and, to a person, demand that we "take our country back."
I was surrounded in my pew by people with foot-high stacks of talking-points and organizational material from Dick Armey's FreedomWorks.
There wasn't any chance I would ever get my trembling hands on one of those tickets you had to have to get a shot at the microphone, so I finally stood up and just blurted out "Take our Country back to what? Ozzie and Harriet? Jim Crow?"
The booing overwhelmed me, empty paper cups and crumpled leaflets started flying my way and it seemed like the crowd was closing in pretty fast until a uniformed cop reached toward me from the isle and motioned for me to follow him.
He got me outside and told me it was for my own protection. After grilling me about my intentions and looking over my I.D, he told me he understood the crowd was "overheated," but that I should be more careful. I thanked him but wished I had the nerve to ask if he even considered protecting my right to free speech.
So, it's four days out and I'm looking forward to a nice warm January evening for the 2012 caucuses here in my little part of Iowa, but I'm not feeling like infiltrating or mischief-making, or watching a freak show. Even though many of them don't have the sense to vote their own self interest, I'll be happy for my neighbors that the warmer weather is extending the life of their reduced LIHEAP grants and that they have the freedom to fight among themselves for someone who won't fight for their real needs.
While an independent can make a simple declaration at the caucus, I intend to go back to the County Court House and re-register, This time as the Democrat that I am.
I don't want to be in another crowd where dissenting voices are not allowed or respected, and thankfully, that is not how my Democratic Party functions.
We should all be encouraged to voice our dissent as a means of drawing attention to neglected or sacrificed priorities. I don't want to live anywhere that anyone receives 100%
of the vote unless its my own house. I've lived with Gunter 15+ years now and know that's never going to happen.
My initial uncommitted declaration is simply my way of saying "I'm not feeling the real commitment to some of us, or to our liberties, and I don't think our votes should be taken for granted."
Another fools errand? Probably. But I'm pretty sure my fellow Democrats can handle it civilly.
I doubt there will be other uncommitted voters in my precinct and would be shocked if there were enough to reach the 15% threshold to be viable.
After I have made my case, I will join in the acclamation for the candidate I intend to work and vote for in the General election.
That would be Pres. Barack Obama. The Democrat.