Because only a chemically altered state of consciousness makes these guys bearable.
From my Twitter page:
#JonHuntsman is basically just #MittRomney's kid brother, and nobody goes to see Livingston Taylor when James Taylor's in town.
Why does #Gingrich headquarters look like the Balrog walked through it?
#MittRomney never seems to look comfortable in his own skin. Maybe that magic underwear itches.
Just saw a commercial for pet breath freshener. So, yeah, me and this society, I think we're done.
NH prediction: Romney 40%, Paul 20%, Huntsman 16%, Santorum 13%, all the rest whatever.
#RickSantorum found out the holy roller act don't play as well in New Hampshire. Welcome to the real world, Senator.
Oh God NPR enough with the charming, folksy stories from tiny wards in rural New Hampshire. We get it. You're SOOO much better than me.
#MittRomney looks like Superman's dad.
NPR's "debate night" intro music sounds like a 1970s "Action News" type theme.
Hey, wow, it looks like conventional wisdom was right. I guess that's why they call it that.
#Republican voters concerned with "corruption." System wouldn't be corrupt if you guys didn't vote the way you do.
#MittRomney's chances of winning come down to this: Can he convince the American people he's not a douchebag?
#MittRomney always comes across like the boss making a speech at an office birthday party.
I know #MittRomney would tell his rivals to suck his cock, but his cock is safe behind his magic underwear, where the gays can't get it.
"We look to the cities and towns across America. Specifically, Salt Lake City. Wait, no, ignore that last part." –Willard "Mitt" Romney
#MittRomney's campaign theme should be Bonnie Raitt's "You Got It." Anything you want, you got it. Just make me president.
More Blood for the Blood God!
#Mormons believe you get to be the God of your own planet after you die. If I thought for a MINUTE that was true I'd be a Mormon.
#RonPaul will not run a third party campaign. He has a son who might want to run for president one day.
I just realized that the New Hampshire primary is the only national news event for which #NECN's coverage is relevant.
"They're all after me Lucky Charms!" –Ron Paul
I see #RonPaul found his grandpa sweater.
How come they're not reporting how #LyndonLaRouche did in New Hampshire?
My friend just said #Obama is like Charlie Brown and the #Republican party is like Lucy. God damn.
#JonHuntsman's dad invented the styrofoam clamshell. No one ever talks about that.
Why does #JonHuntsman look so happy? "We got it done?" What, having your ass handed to you?
#JonHuntsman did 170 events and got 17% of the vote. 431 more events and he would have had it.
OMG #JonHuntsman is a Manchurian candidate. For realsies.
#MittRomney: Yay! They'll settle for me!
"We wanted to respect the process here." Really? That's the best you've got, #RickSantorum?
"We came to talk about faith and family" in New Hampshire. Lotta good that did you, eh, #RickSantorum?
#NewtGingrich is a historian the way William Shatner is a starship captain.
#NewtGingrich should just make a speech in which he says nothing but "Ronald Reagan" for twenty minutes.
#NewtGingrich's head is so big they couldn't find a football helmet for him when he was a kid. These are facts.
If #MittRomney gets elected president will the Osmonds sing at the inauguration?
Does #RickSantorum wear his sweater vest when he makes whoopee? Also does he use the term "make whoopee?"