All sorts of discrimination bothers me. Even when it's in my favor.
Let me give you a very recent example.
Over New Year's, Itzl and I attended an out of state convention with several friends. Two of them rode in my car. On our way home, we stopped at a chain restaurant to eat Sunday supper. It was about 7:00 or 7:30.
We were challenged at the door for having Itzl, but since I'd been speaking about service dogs to a group of people, I had an ADA service dog card with me. The hostess at the door took the card in and sought out a manager, who reluctantly allowed us in. This was pretty par for the course, and none of us thought any more about it.
The waitress was prompt in taking our orders and bringing our drinks, and everything looked pretty normal.
Except the food we were eventually served was cold.
Not just lukewarm, but as cold as if it had been placed in a freezer for 15 or 20 minutes. I know how cold that is because it's a method I use to rapidly chill food when I need to.
We'd all ordered steaks, and none of them were cooked correctly. I'd asked for medium well done and got medium rare, both of my friends asked for medium rare and one (Miss B) got her steak even more well done than I would have wanted - and cold. The other (Mr. M) got his steak rare instead of medium rare - and cold. The sides were cold.
Miss B asked to have her steak re-done properly. An hour later, she got another one - so rare it was bleeding onto the plate and everything on it was stone cold.
Mr. M and I just ate ours cold because we were hungry. Miss B finally ate her second steak around the edges and ate her sides, which were cold, for the same reason. That late on a Sunday night in a very rural part of the state meant we weren't likely to find anywhere else open to eat so we sucked it up and ate.
When I stopped at a gas station to re-fuel, we got gas station junk food to fill the spaces the bad meal left behind.
And the next day, I went online to get the information to tender a complaint. The challenge at the entrance to the restaurant is standard. I get that all the time, so much that I barely notice it anymore unless the hostess is aggressively stupid or rude.
But being served cold food in a moderately upscale sit down restaurant was wrong and I complained about the cold food. I didn't mention Itzl because that part was actually normal. I did mention that the waitress was polite and prompt. I also said that the locations I'd eaten at locally and in other states were all good and I knew they had never served stone cold food which led me to believe it was a local problem that needed to be rectified.
I encouraged my friends to complain about the cold food, too, and especially encouraged Miss B to complain about the poorly cooked steak she got, not once, but twice.
So, all three of us complained about the same thing.
Miss B received a phone call from the manager of the location we ate at, who promptly told her that the cold food was not retaliation for bringing a dog into her restaurant. When Miss B asked why we were all served cold, poorly cooked food, she reiterated that it was not retaliation. Then she started accusing Miss B of trying to cadge a free meal, because we'd eaten the food. It was an unsatisfactory resolution. Actually, there was no resolution at all. Miss B is unhappy because removing that location off the possible places to dine along that route (one we frequently travel) seriously reduces our dining choices and she won't eat there again because she has no guarantee the food will be hot and well cooked next time.
Mr. M received a form email and a downloadable coupon for 10% off at any of the chain's locations. No apology, just a "thank you for commenting, here's a coupon". There was no mention of the cold food and poorly cooked steak and no plans to change. As of today, he hasn't received a phone call.
I received an email asking for the voice to text or tty line, which I provided, and then I got a phone call. Since I didn't say in my complaint that I was hearing impaired or that I was accompanied by a service dog, and neither Miss B nor Mr. M mentioned that in their complaints, the only way the regional supervisor would know was because the manager knew and told. Or the waitress or hostess told. I guess they knew it was me by process of elimination, and by the fact that I had access to a voice to text line at work.
The supervisor was extremely apologetic, and was concerned that I'd say something about Itzl, but honestly, the challenge about Itzl wasn't a big deal. The cold food was. So I kept bringing up the fact that the hostess and waitress did their jobs, but the cook didn't. And the supervisor kept bringing it back to Itzl. So I suggested that he provide ADA training to his managers and fire the cook, get someone who knows how to cook steaks and get them out before they get cold. He was very polite and very appalled at our treatment (and that's why he gets the bigger bucks, I'm sure - half his job must be political and social far more than hands-on), and very apologetic. He said he'd make sure it didn't happen again, that the food would be served at the proper temperatures and the managers trained on accessibility.
So why was I singled out for the apologies that neither of my friends received? Their food was just as bad. They were just as upset by the cold food as I was, probably more so. Neither of them got an apology. One got a harangue about how it wasn't the manager's fault. The other got a form response.
Yesterday, I received a gift card in the mail from the chain's regional supervisor with a rather large amount on it, more than enough to replace all three of our meals and then some.
I plan to take them out to the local restaurant of that chain that we've eaten at before and know to be polite and to serve good, well-prepared, hot meals on that card, and leave the balance as tip for doing it right.
But I'm angry now about the differences in our treatment. Either I should have been as badly treated as they were, or they should have been treated as nicely as I was.
And Itzl? He didn't care. He got steak, and he likes his steak served cold.