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Forgive me, it's my first time.  Doesn't everyone say that?

As my diary headline states, I want to talk about something that happened to me 10 years ago today.  Something wonderful, something magical, something that I hope goes on for a long, long time.  Something the Republicans don't want you to know about or even give two rats asses about.

It's a bit long winded, but I wanted to remember what I could.

Follow me below the "I think it's orange, but I'm colourblind", squiggly do-dad.

10 years, 3 days ago......

My ex of 4.5 years told me to sign a piece of paper to continue my relationship with him.  Sure, I'd give up my power of attorney.  Sure, I'd be liable for any back rent/mortgage payments if I broke up with him after I signed it.  Sure, I'd be willing to be sued by him if I contracted HIV/AIDS & gave it to him (we lived in Walnut Creek, CA; where you can sue for that).  After 4.5 years together, he wanted us to stay together, but make my life a living hell.  I couldn't keep the new friends I had met here in California.  I had to make all new friends with him.  I couldn't go anywhere without telling him or calling him every hour (NOT KIDDING).  Sure, I'll give up my freedom to be with a man that wanted (and DID) to keep me shaved from the neck down.

HECK THE FRACK NO!!!!  I told him that he knew I couldn't sign it, because it was being signed "under duress".  That meant, if I didn't sign it; he was going to kick me out.  He knew (at the time) I wanted to be a lawyer (working in a law firm fixed me of that) and I told him that this would not hold up in a court of law.  "We'll go to an attorney & have them draw up an official one for us to sign",he said.  My reply was, "No attorney in their right mind would do that & you know it".  Thus ended my relationship with someone who was more neurotic than anyone I've known since.  

Didn't really help the next day that I went to get my stuff from his house, a 18 year old boy answered the door.  Colour me pissed off.........

10 years ago today.......

I had made plans to meet with this guy I had been talking to via the internet.  We had planned to meet at his place in San Francisco after I was done with work.  At the time, I was still living Walnut Creek with a friend who, graciously, put up with let me stay with him.  I was also working down in San Ramon, so I had a car at the time.  I can remember being very excited all day to meet this guy & couldn't wait for work to be over with.

Once 5 o'clock rolled around & I jumped in my car & started the drive up 680 to 24.  Ye Gods, the traffic on 24 at the tunnels (this is for people that know the area) was terrible!  I was so worried I was going to be late to meet him....heck, I still had to get over the Bay Bridge!!

Luckily, I made it through the tunnel & over the bridge.  Now I had to find parking in the Castro.  Ye Gods, if that isn't a bitch to do in SF, in an SUV no less.  I finally found parking around this guys apartment complex, got out of my car & walked down the street towards the complex.  I found his apartment number & rang the bell.  He buzzed me in, I stepped inside & took the elevator up to the fourth floor.

As I walked down the hall, I saw a man open his apartment door & look out.  The first thought I had was, "Oh, he's really cute for someone who's 50".  I'm gonna leave the next part out....cause it's NSFW and private ;)  It's between him and I ;)

Afterwards, we went out to dinner.  I had only been to the Castro a few times before, so I let him choose where we ate.  We had a wonderful dinner at a restaurant named LUNA.  We talked about a lot of things, many I don't remember about.

The one thing I remember, and will never, ever forget, was what happened after dinner.  We were walking down Castro street, towards 18th Street talking about various things.  Then the man, literally & figuratively, swept me off my feet & carried me down Castro Street for a few feet.  You see, at the time I was 5'11" & only 123 lbs, so I was an easy pick up (watch the jokes boys...don't hurt yourself wink).  That was what made me fall in love with him.

Unfortunately, I had already made plans to move back to Houston to live with some friends.  I was planning to leave the Bay Area & start anew in Houston.  The guy knew I had this already planned and still let me go, but promised to visit me in Houston when he could find time time.

Fast forward a few months......
I was settled into my friends house in Houston & had kept in contact with the guy in San Francisco.  He let me know that he had to work in Phoenix, but was going to swing by Houston to see me for a long weekend.  This was great!  I couldn't wait for him to meet my friends & see me!  Plus, I wanted to see if this guy passed the friend test...cause you never know, this guy could have been a psycho!

The good news is that the guy passed the friend test.  He met my friends & they loved him.  The guy and I talked a lot while he was with me in Houston.  We talked about what we wanted in a relationship, what issues we had in past relationships and if we wanted to have a relationship together.  I think we both knew we wanted a relationship, but were both scared of it.  At the end of his visit, it was decided that I would move back to the Bay Area as soon as I could, so we could start a relationship together.

It's been 10 years.  10 wonderful, testing, trying, surprising, exploratory years.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  Sure, we've had our ups & downs, but what relationship doesn't?  Sure, we've had arguments, pleasure, tears, but I wouldn't change anything.

I love you very, very much.
I know I upset you.
I know I make you smile.
I know I make you laugh.
I know I make you worry.
I know I challenge you.
I know I hurt you.
You put up with me playing World of Warcraft. (this is the most important thing he puts up with)

However, know this:
I love you in every way.
I love you every day.
I don't mean to cause you hurt.
I don't mean to cause you pain.
I don't mean to upset you.
I'm glad we've been together for 10 years.
I hope we can be together for another 10.


Bob & I

sfbob,left, and me, TrapperSF

Originally posted to TrapperSF on Wed Jan 18, 2012 at 06:00 AM PST.

Also republished by Anglican Kossacks and LGBT Kos Community.

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