In September of 1923, upon the hapless little village of Polo, South Dakota, now reduced to a tiny prairie skyline of the incongruous Spanish-mission style St. Liborius RC Church and its accompanying outer buildings, 88 Sisters of the Order Benedictine descended upon a parochial school with 68 innocent students:
School opened at St. Liborius on September 13, 1923, with an enrollment of 68. The school was administered by eighty-eight Benedictine sisters from Yankton, South Dakota, and after 1960, from Watertown, South Dakota. The school population peaked in the 1970s, and the school eventually became a public district in 1988.
Alas, today, the once-thriving parish of St. Liborius has been reduced to a quickie Saturday night mass delivered by a passing priest.
There they were, sent upon the innocents of the prairie, a company, two platoons, some ten companies of an army of nuns, where they were actually redundant in that land of pure prairie goodness.
But now, when we desperately need them:
WHERE IS THE ARMY OF BENEDICTINE NUNS?
I can easily think of two places right off where the sisters in arms are needed in this year of the Lord 2012:
Indianapolis, Indiana, SuperBowl XLVI, Sunday, 5 February 2012:
Eleven orders of Catholic nunsin Indiana and Michigan, including the local Sisters of the Holy Cross and Poor Handmaids of Jesus Christ, contacted the managers at 220 hotels within a 50-mile radius of Indianapolis. They knew that this weekend’s Super Bowl could be ripe ground for the use of sex slaves in prostitution.
“There’s a lot of evidence that human trafficking increases around major sporting events,” said Sister Ann Oestreich, who works for the Holy Cross sisters and oversaw the project.
So, the sisters linked up with an Indianapolis task force that includes law enforcement and that has focused on human trafficking since 2006. And student Cailin Crowe of Saint Mary's College, where the Holy Cross sisters are based, developed a list of hotel managers and then helped the sisters to call those managers, gauging their awareness of the issue and asking if they’d want materials to educate their staffs.
Well and good, but what about the physical presence of the Sisters in companies of eighty or so strong, marching up and down the streets of Indianapolis and through the halls of those 220 hotels, bringing law and order and decency into the unhallowed precincts of SuperBowl 2012?
Then, there is the seamy underside of Tampa, Florida, made even seamier by the presence of the 2012 Republican National Convention, August 27 - August 30, 2012:
TAMPA, Fla. -- Following an extensive remodel, the Penthouse Club in Tampa, Fla., is finally ready for next summer's Republican National Convention. Club operator DeWayne Levesque has installed two secluded VIP sections, which he hopes will help his club attract a bigger share of the 50,000 visitors expected to descend upon the city on Aug. 27 for four days of conservative politics and liberal partying. In addition to the club's new carpets and furniture, the private rooms are designed to provide cover so that camera-shy donors, politicians and aides can enjoy the strippers without fear of getting caught, he said.... many convention visitors will be in the market for a lap dance, but newly-released academic research suggests that some will be interested in the darker elements of Tampa's adult scene, too -- sex for sale. HuffPost teamed up with Tampa-based reporter Shawn Alff, of the Creative Loafing media group, to examine the potential impact of the RNC on two major pillars of the city's X-rated economy: prostitution and strip clubs.
"I can make between $50,000-$60,000 a night at Mons Venus during the days leading up to the Superbowl," Redner explained, "up from $10,000-$12,000 on an average night." When asked how a buttoned-up, political clientele might differ from a Superbowl crowd, Redner laughed. "All customers look [at the dancers] the same, no matter what they're wearing or what they're here for." ... Redner said he would be willing to keep the club open 24-7 during the GOP convention if demand merits it. That said, he may charge clients a premium at the door. "During the Superbowl I charge $50 a head. I may decide to do that during the convention, too."
.... Another adults-only perk for conventioneers are scheduled appearances at clubs by well-known female adult film stars. ... One star who might feel right at home during the convention is Lisa Ann of the "Nailin' Palin" adult film series, which lampooned the former governor of Alaska. Lisa Ann is currently touring, but no word on whether she's slated to hit Tampa next summer. X-rated starlets also offer the clubs a competitive advantage, which is critical in an industry that Redner said has been hard hit by the Great Recession.
For those with cash to spend, however, the options abound. An adult video producer who gave his name as "Brandon" said he plans to offer conventioneers an erotic limo service that includes the company of "models."
Would that I could summon from their holy graves on the now icy prairies those 88 Benedictines in their ancient warrior garb, to march in the steamy warmth of Tampa in August, to strike fear and decency into the hearts of their drunken and befuddled Republican beholders, to wage war on the evil, vulture capitalistic sinners, oh if only such things were possible.