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[Advertising announcer]

Tired of all the war in Waziristan?

Taliban a little too crazy and religious for your taste?

Sounds like you need . . . "CIA's Heart and Mind-O-Matic!"

Commonly called "drones," the Heart and Mind-O-Matic is designed for innocent villagers like yourself.

If you're caught in the middle, the Heart and Mind-O-Matic will make you absolutely certain which side you're on!

We'll win you over by:

-Bombing your village!

-Killing your family.

-And bombing the funeral!

Sure, the Taliban is crazy, but can they do this?

Wait for it . . . wait for it . . .

Rebublican-invented, Democrat-perfected, the Heart and Mind-O-Matic spreads hearts and minds all over the region!

And, with built-in CIA Constitutional Cloaking technology, the Heart and Mind-O-Matic is virtually invisible in America, so you can enjoy the benefits day, after day, after day.

Makes war easier, spreads it around the globe!

Let the Heart and Mind-O-Matic make you absolutely certain which side you're on.

Ours, right? Rrright?

(The Heart and Mind-O-Matic is available in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen and other select countries. If you're in the USA, all preceding information must be erased from your hard drive, memory and consciousness.)

Originally posted to Comics on Thu Feb 09, 2012 at 06:50 AM PST.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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