when he writes
Start with this fact: The truest measure of a man, indeed of a person, is not whom he lies down with but what he stands up for. If we must be judged, let it be in this way. And when we fall short, as we sometimes will, because humanity is fallible, let us greet each other with compassion and encouragement rather than ridicule and resentment.
The words above were appear in a column titled
Real MEn and Pink Suites, written in response to the brouhaha over the noxious Superbowl tweets by Roland Martin of CNN. It is a column you should read, about which I note:
1. Martin plans to meet with GLAAD, which may represent progress
2. Blow acknowledges that Martin is prone to jokes
3. Regardless of what he - and CNN - may choose to say now, Martin is on record as being opposed to homosexual behavior: Blow offers this paragraph about a 2006 post on Martin's website:
In it, he criticized the Rev. Al Sharpton for appealing to black churches “to become more accepting and embracing of homosexuality.” Martin wrote that gays and lesbians “are engaged, in the eyes of the church, in sinful behavior.” Furthermore, he said, “My wife, an ordained Baptist minister for 20 years, has counseled many men and women to walk away from the gay lifestyle, and to live a chaste life.” And he compared homosexuals to adulterers, disobedient children, alcoholics and thieves.)
Please keep reading.
As Blow notes in the words immediately following the quote above the foild
Words have power. And power recklessly exerted has consequences. It’s not about being politically correct. It’s about being sensitive to the plight of those being singled out. We can’t ask the people taking the punches to also take the jokes.
I want to reflect on the broader meaning of the words we hear in our political discourse.
Martin is predisposed to oppose homosexual behavior because of his wife's role as a Baptist minister. For those who may be unaware, it is quite common to hear the following from pulpits and from the lips of Black ministers: God didn't make them Adam and Steve, he made them Adam and Eve.
It is interesting that the harshest words are directed towards male homosexuals, and Blow addresses the distorted framing of what it means to be a man, not the issue of homosexuality in broader terms. What about Lesbians? What about those bisexual? What about those transgendered?
THe unbalanced focused on male homosexuality has ancient roots: the Hebrew Bible is silent, as the Rabbi with whom I took advanced Talmud studies pointed out, on the question of lesbianism, even as it commands that a man should not lie with another man as he does a woman.
While I think such beliefs are wrong, one is fully entitled to believe whatever one wants - in religion, in politics. Belief is not the problem. I am even willing to grant wide latitute towards verbal expression.
What I will not accept is the idea that because you believe differently you have the right to impose your beliefs through law and politics. This applies on sexual orientation, it applies on contraception, it applies on abortion. You do not allow me to impose my beliefs on war, nor do you allow me or the Catholic Church to apply our beliefs on capital punishment.
That's for starters.
That's to remind us that the Bishops of the Catholic Church probably need to be forcefully reminded that because they are unable to persuade their flock on birth control as a matter of religious obedience gives them no right to interfere with the ability of all of us to exercise our own judgment upon whether methods other than the rhythm method are appropriate ways of avoiding pregnancy.
I will refrain from counterattacking on the question of who has moral standing in matters of sexuality, although the recent historical record of the Catholic Church, in this country and abroad, speaks loudly on that subject: one might well ask how much of the contributions of the faithful have been spend in legal matters - attorneys' fees and settlements ' for behavior by ordained clergy that the Church itself acknowledges was wrong.
Returning to the impact of words - when a political figure initiates demeaning commentary upon someone difrerent, as has been far too common in recent times, and quite notable during the Republican primary season, it seems as if we all have a responsibility to speak out. A person who seeks to be President of all the American people should not tolerate demeaning and denigration of any of the American people - whether for their politics, their sexuality, their religion, their heritage. One can criticize without demeaning and denigrating.
A politician who when presented with such expression by a supporter needs to reject it - failure to do so represents an acceptance, and encourages further similar expressions that poison the discourse.
Let me return to what Blow says about Martin's "jokes" on twitter:
But in the real world — where bullying and violence against gays and lesbians, or even those assumed to be so, is all too real — “jokes” like his hold no humor. There are too many bruised ribs and black eyes and buried bodies for the targets of this violence to just lighten up and laugh.
We all have to understand that effects can operate independent of intent, that subconscious biases can move counter to conscious egalitarianism, and that malice need not be present within the individual to fuel the maliciousness of the society at large.
the maliciousness of the society at large - it is a sad commentary that these words are still an accurate description of too much of American society. It is something that we encounter far too frequently among some of our students. Fortunately, our rules on sexual harassment cover gay-baiting, so we can challenge students who use homophobic language, who demean people who appear to them to be gay, just as we can challenge students who focus unwanted attention on a person of the opposite sex.
We also need to recognize several other things.
1. There are those who want to role back any advances we have made on matters of race and gender.
2. Those who have sought to ban abortion by overturning Roe v Wade are now beginning to take aim at Griswold v Connecticut, and one has to examine the recent actions of the Catholic Bishops in that light. That is not to say that they are yet seeking a reversal of that important decision, but it is of a piece of those who do. The Bishops would be wise to state clearly that they do not seek a total ban on contraception for non-Catholics, otherwise it is fair to challenge them on yet again attempting to impose a religiously base value upon those not of their faith - and a value that in this case few of their own flock accept.
3. We all have a responsibility for our own rhetoric. As tempting as it is to respond in kind, or to seek to get ahead of the curve with our own cutting remarks, ought not we consider how we thereby contribute to the diminishment of proper public discourse?
4. Anyone who seeks to divide the American people by fear, who resorts to any format of us versus them, is not seeking to lead us all, and is in my mind at least thereby disqualified from a position of national leadership.
5. Just to be clear, suggesting or requiring that those who have most benefited from our society have a greater responsibility to give back is not class warfare. It is in fact a value that can be found clearly in both the Jewish and Christian bibles by those who do not read selectively and cherry-pick verses out of context.
Words matter. Blow very much got that right. He also gets right the issue that confronts us especially with respect to images of masculinity. He says of the false ideal implied by the likes of Martin that
this narrowed manhood ideal has a truly damaging effect on boys.
He says of the broader culture in which it is found
We have created this culture, and we can undo it.
I am a heterosexual male. My heterosexual marriage is not threatened by gay marriage.
If a gay male finds me attractive, that is nice, but it in no way threatens me, i can merely say no thanks. Just as when I was single I expressed an attraction to a straight woman she could also tell me she was not interested.
If my marriage is not threatened, if my sense of self is not threatened, I fail to see the humor in demeaning the choices of clothing of another.
Which is why I choose to close with Blow's final words:
Let’s show the whole of mankind that men can indeed be kind, even to other men who dare to wear pink suits.
Indeed.
and Peace.