I’ve tried to ignore it. Who wants to think their Church has a one-track mind?
But here’s the uncomfortable truth. From gay marriage to birth control, the morning after pill and abortion, the Catholic Church has an unhealthy obsession with sex, sex, sex.
Follow along below the squished orange blip.
Most people have sex. Birds do it. Bees do it. However, because the leaders of the Church don't, it makes sex the big forbidden fruit for them. Apologies to Adam and Eve for that analogy.
We all know when something is forbidden, it instantly becomes more attractive and mysterious. I’d like to think the Catholic Church is more mature than a hormonal adolescent but when the headlines regularly trumpet the Church’s latest sex-related proclamation, gosh, it’s hard to avoid thinking this way.
The brouhaha du jour is about birth control but recently, it morphed into something else. Something maybe NOT about sex. It appeared that the Bishops huddled together and came up with a new plan. They’d start talking about ‘religious liberty.’
Unfortunately, I just figured out this was their secret code phrase and it's STILL about sex. Now, if I could just buy one of those big, ornate decoder rings like the Bishops wear, I’d be in the club. Don’t pop my bubble on this one. A girl can dream.
Really, who doesn’t like religious liberty? Sadly, within the month, the Bishops used the phrase to segue right back into gay marriage, abortion and birth control. The effort was a bit of ingenious doublespeak and a champion spin attempt but we all knew the bishops were thinking about sex, again. Eye roll and face palm.
The religious liberty campaign cleverly allowed the bishops to grandstand their opposition to the Obama administration’s ruling that requires insurance to cover birth control, the morning after pill and sterilization as part of preventive care for women like me. Way to have my back, guys! Not.
The Bishops were inflamed by the ruling. So inflamed that they took out full page, expensive ads in both the Washington Post and the New York Times last November in lock-step opposition. Here’s a shout-out to Catholic women, 98 percent of whom use birth control—do you know where your money goes after you throw it in the collection plate? Seriously, we have to check into that because I’ve got a bad feeling.
The Bishops also began an all-out campaign using the religious liberty meme to pressure Congress and the President to back down. In an effort to rally the faithful to the cause, Chicago’s Cardinal George penned a strongly worded letter that was read here at all Masses this weekend. I heard it was about…wait for it…sex. A confession: I didn’t go to Mass. I had to wash the cat. And write this.
Such a single minded focus on sex creates a chasm between the laity who enjoy it and Church leaders who relentlessly preach about it. Not to do the Bishops’ job for them, but maybe they’d like to work off some energy by focusing on the economy? Jobs? Helping the poor? Those are just a couple thoughts off the top of my head. Note to the Bishops: I can recommend a pretty Good Book if you guys would like to learn more!
I’ll tell you what I’ve concluded. The Church is ever more irrelevant for U.S. Catholics like me who have broader social issues on our minds and consciences. I understand the Pope said he’d like to see ‘a smaller but purer’ Church. Way to go, dude! Looks like your master plan is working out perfectly!
What does the future hold for the Church? I couldn’t say but I can offer this advice. Pull it together, boys. We’ve got bigger problems here than what goes on in my bedroom.