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To paraphrase a hippie liberal, what a long, strange trip it's been in this Wisconsin gubernatorial recall.  And of course, it had to go and get a little bit stranger:  I'm about to add to the general weirdness of it all.  I have decided to change my name, and I will soon be known as none other than Scott Walker.  If you're curious as to why, please see below the orange squiggly cheese doodle thingie.

No, I'm not doing this out of admiration for our current governor -- anyone who has read any of my past diaries should know me well enough by now.  I'm doing this because Wisconsin has an open primary.  The open primary means that any resident of Wisconsin is allowed to vote in it, and it is not necessary to show party affiliation.  As a result, a group within Wisconsin plans to attend the Democratic primary (if there is one) and write in "Scott Walker."  Now, of course, their plans are to subvert the recall process.  In fairness, this would not be against the law.  If indeed they are successful and "Scott Walker" gets the most votes, they say that will remove the need to have a general recall election.

While the odds that this would work are indeed long, it is not impossible, and as such, if "Scott Walker" should receive the most votes in the Democratic Primary election, fear not, Wisconsin:  I've got your back.  Once I change my name, I will simply claim victory, and the general election will carry on as before.

Granted, that will lead to a little confusion, as in the general election, Scott Walker will be running against Scott Walker (once I change my name).  You'll be able to tell us apart because most of his campaign ads will be sponsored by Americans for Prosperity, and I will be too poor to afford ads.  Republicans who read this will no doubt point out that I will be flush with all that out-of-state union money that we keep hearing about, but you can relax, Republicans, because that won't happen:  Do you honestly think any union is going to donate to a guy from Wisconsin whose name is Scott Walker?

Admittedly, it's going to be an uphill climb.  Once I change my name, I will immediately become a polarizing figure.  I will find opposition at every corner. But I am willing to do it because Wisconsin might need me, and if it does, I want to be there to answer the call.  As your potential future governor, I want to stress that my administration will actually be bipartisan.  Assuming he survives his own recall efforts, I will even do my best to work with Senate Majority Leader Scott Fitzgerald.  We'll hold a special ceremony under our two party animals -- as a peace offering, I will kiss his Republican elephant, and he can kiss my Democratic ass.

Still, when it comes to the General Election, how will voters tell current Governor Scott Walker from me, Scott Walker (once I change my name)?  Well, with what limited funds I have available, I plan to hand out some bumper stickers that will help people when it is time to make their choice.  They will simply say:  "Voting is a lot like driving:  Choose (R) if you want to go backward; Choose (D) if you want to go forward."

Hopefully, that will be enough to vault me over the top.  Just like our state motto, it's "Forward" with Scott Walker (once I change my name)!  So bring it, Republicans!  Write in "Scott Walker" if you dare!

By the way, to any and all other guys already named Scott Walker that live in the state of Wisconsin: I thought of this first, so hands off my Executive Mansion.

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