HOLLYWOOD, CA—After months of cryptic, vaguely threatening quotes and semi-crazed public appearances, Joaquin Phoenix revealed in a press conference today that Michele Bachmann was simply an elaborate performance piece.
“I suppose the creation of the ‘Michele Bachmann’ character was meant as a commentary on the neutered nature of most American news outlets these days, so concerned with being balanced that they’ll overlook obvious insanity, and instead opt for the term ‘viable Republican candidate,’” Phoenix said in a prepared statement.
“I also wanted to see just how long I could get away with it. I’m sorry if it spun a bit out of control. I honestly thought I’d get called out after two, maybe three weeks tops. No one is as surprised as I am that people took ‘Michele Bachmann’ seriously.”
According to sources close to Phoenix, he originally intended to gradually increase the Bachmann character’s “obvious instability and insanity” to see how the media would react, until it reached a point so ludicrous that it would be impossible not to see through the ruse.
Initial investigation indicates Phoenix meant that point to arrive sometime in early 2010.
Phoenix indicated that his revelation was prompted by a combination of concern over the outcome of the upcoming elections and simple fatigue.
“Seriously, I’ve completely run out of ideas for where else I can take this character. It seems there is literally nothing I can sign, do, or say, including making vague death threats, that will cause people to meaningfully question ‘Michele Bachmann,’” Phoenix said. “I’m releasing her rap album next week. Between that, and this press conference, I imagine this whole social experiment will finally come to an end.”
“At least, I pray to god it will,” he concluded, sighing.
Cross posted at The Smew