Hi fellow Americans Aretha Achinggun here from Baying Inc; we would like to present our new drug, Acetylsalicynic [sic] Acid. After decades of studying the effects of 1950's syndrome and how that related to golden age of conservative mass delusions we now believe that we have a cure.
When someone stands up and declares that they are "The Reagan of our Times" and "the one true conservative on the ballot" place 2 Acetylsalicynic [sic] Acid capsules between your knees and breathe deeply.
When a panel of men mention "women", roll 2 Acetylsalicynic [sic] Acid capsules between your toes.
When a group of young republicans talk about "log cabins" and "we don't really hate you", place 2 Acetylsalicynic [sic] Acid capsules under your armpits.
When a group is being see to nod in unison over the glories of "fiscal conservatism" crush 2 Acetylsalicynic [sic] Acid capsules and snort the resulting powder up with a rolled hundred dollar note.
When the merits of "compassionate conservatism" are espoused without any basis in reality swallow 2 Acetylsalicynic [sic] Acid capsules washing down with the nearest and strongest alcohol available.
Side-effects may include, bruised knees, inflamed toes, over powering body odor, dizziness, pregnancy, denial of rights and economic catastrophe.
We therefore only consider the prescription of Acetylsalicynic [sic] Acid in the most dire of circumstances when the patient utters; "I cant take anymore of these clowns" as being the minimum requirement. Otherwise, the simple exercise of democratic rights is to be preferred.
Personally I take mine with mojitos, whilst standing on my head and singing the national anthem, I have noticed no change; but I am having fun.
How about you, how do you take yours?