In the Land of Plenty that's top of the heap,
A race is run to pick the best chief.
A nation with power and wealth refined,
More shooters and boomers than the rest combined.
The world has trouble, it's far and wide.
Many thousands killed on the civilian side.
Not to mention the countless who die in the bush,
Blown up, raped or starved by a madman's cruel push.
Back here our economy's like a beached jellyfish,
Budget cuts and austerity, the international dish.
So how do we pick the free world's right leader?
Why . . . by talking 'bout sex, is it only for breeders?
It's all about who does what in the bed,
And whose hair looks best atop their smart head.
And who did the greatest at hosting some sports!
And who got timeshare at Moon Colony Resorts.
And who slept with whom and how many they made,
It's a sign of a leader, the more kids are displayed!
Did you really tie your dog to the family car roof?
Looks like a birth certificate, but show us some proof!
The fate of the world is decided you see . . .
. . . By who gets the best zinger in Debate Four-Oh-Three.