I continue to marvel at the Conservatives' obsession with anything sexual, whether their own activities and proclivities, or those of the rest of us.
In a time when we're besieged by problems such as unemployment, poverty, climate change, looming potential for war with Iran, millions of wounded veterans from past and current war, foreclosures, rising medical costs, trade imbalances, currency risks, fossil fuel dependence, growing gaps between rich and poor, obesity and diseases running rampant, and utter gridlock in Washington, they're steadfastly focused on the real problem: sex.
Since I'm at a loss to figure out why this obsession controls every moment of their lives, I offer the following ten questions with the hope that someone else can shed some light on this mystery.
The term "you" used below refers to some mythical Conservative who'd actually answer these questions. In other words, a mythical creature.
1. You seem to believe that there's some value in signing pledges to remain faithful, eschew pornography, and defend "traditional" marriage (the sort that ends in divorce about half the time). If you're the sort of person who would contemplate extramarital activity, you're probably the sort of person for whom signing a pledge is simply a publicity stunt. Why the obsession with pledges?
2. Further, you believe that "traditional" marriage is somehow threatened by same-sex marriage. Forgive me, but if your traditional marriage is that fragile, wouldn't it be threatened by proximity to single people?
3. Temptation seems to bother you a lot, and you seem to be projecting your character weaknesses on the rest of us. Pardon me, but some of us are happy with our ability to resist (or to embrace) our temptations. Unless we're looking to involve you in them, please explain why this would be any of your concern.
4. You speak frequently of the importance of family values, and hold the family in high esteem as the most important unit of society, without which all manner of evils will take over our world. Yet you believe that you have the right to dictate what goes on between husband and wife in the privacy of their family when it comes to sex, contraception, and procreation. How does this not violate the sanctity of families?
5. While most of you were "of woman born" (excluding those of you spawned by other evil means), your views on the role of women in society seem insulting at best, criminal at worst. The idea that readily available contraception allowed women to usurp power that has been (and should continue to be, in your benighted view) held by men ignores centuries of biological and social evolution. Further, it ignores the needs and desires of women and men who cannot reproduce or choose not to reproduce. Please explain how your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, and female staff members fit into your draconian views, or whether they have some special exemption.
6. You are quite obsessed with the unborn from the moment of conception (or before), yet once born, the previously unborn face great tribulation as their mothers are denied prenatal care, and basic pediatric and parental wellness care. Regardless of the circumstances of their conception (rape, incest), their fate in the womb, or their fate beyond the womb, you declare that all life is sacred. Please explain your vocal support for extending our current war in Afghanistan and beginning another in Iran in this context.
7. Contraception is an important part of the lives of American men and women, including many who belong to mainstream religions such as Catholicism, in which an estimated 98% of women have used contraception during their reproductive years. While you steadfastly resist the scientific logic of climate change, I hope that you would you agree that many of our planet's future problems will be directly related to overpopulation and limited resources. Responsible family planning is a necessary element in making the Earth livable for future generations. Further, since you view abortion with such dismay, would it not be logical to prevent abortion through safe and available contraceptive methods?
8. On the subject of abortion, for those of you male Conservatives, please disclose any instance in which you have paid for an abortion for your spouse, girlfriend, mistress, or staff member, or pressured them to have an abortion. Or you could just sign another pledge. Send me your contact information, and I'll get that pledge out to you right away.