A series of events today prevented me from spending time writing. So this isn't much of a diary. But you might be able to relate to it.
Awkward moments. We all have them. Some of us have them more often than others. I'm one of those people whose life is just filled with the most awkward of awkward moments. Awkwardness just follows me for some reason.
I could tell dozens of stories, ranging from the extremely awkward (talking loudly in a public place about how stupid a certain name is, only to have an elderly man come up to me and inform me that his name is that certain name...certain name omitted to avoid a repeat of the incident) to the extremely extremely awkward (walking down the street, being scared by a barking dog, and unleashing an unholy string of unnerving obscenities, only to realize that a nun was standing with the dog, noticeably shocked and appalled). But I'll share something that happened to me today. Follow me over the doodle-thingy.
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After making an emergency trip to the library (words that only make sense to the grad students among us), I walked back to my apartment building jamming out to Nicki Minaj, oblivious to most everything going on around me. I walked in the door, headed to the elevator, and didn't care that several other people were inside as I obnoxiously continued to jam out and do what I thought were subtle dance moves. You don't understand - when I listen to Nicki Minaj, nothing else in the world matters. When the elevator stopped, I got out and made my way down my hallway like a character off of Glee.
Even though I was in my own little Nicki Minaj world, something seemed a bit off to me. When I got to my apartment door, I noticed that the sky lounge next to my apartment seemed...different. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something was amiss.
I shrugged, pulled out my keys, and proceeded to unlock my door. Only I didn't. The key wouldn't turn.
This is strange, I thought. Surely I'm using the wrong key. So I looked, but no, I was using the correct key.
They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So what did I do? I stuck the key back in. It wouldn't budge.
I scratched my head. Was something wrong with my lock? With my key? Was there a demon in my door? Why was my door not unlocking?
By this time, I was frantically sticking the key in and trying to turn it, and I was turning the knob incessantly (what this was supposed to do, I don't know). The whole time, I was cussing like a sailor and probably inventing new curse words along the way. Then, it happened. The door opened.
Only I didn't open it. A guy, obviously more than a little annoyed, appeared. He said, "Can I help you!?!"
That's when it occurred to me to look at the apartment number next to the door. I was trying to get into 203. My apartment is 403, two floors higher.
I didn't even bother to try to explain. I just said, "No thank you," and shuffled away.
I may have graduated college with a 4.0, and I may be in a PhD program, but I never said I always had common sense.
What are some of your awkward moments?
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March 8, 2012
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