I would describe myself as a liberal parent. My husband would call me permissive, and he would be closer to the truth.
The whole truth for me is that my entire personality is based on being liked. I live to make others happy and then be happy with me. This is good and bad. Really bad if you have a 13 year old girl who was born with the ability to read people and then manipulate them to her will.
Follow me over the squiggle for what pushed me to become a hard ass drill instructor.
So my daughter (we will call her Sue to protect her identity) is very very smart. And yet so very very lazy and dumb. Sue has managed to fail English (her best class) due to not doing any homework. Sue also got a D in gym (really?). Math has always been a C or D. Then she randomly gets A's and B's if she feels like working. Lies about doing work, forgets to turn in homework and then is "sick" to avoid school. The most important fact is that if she can't bring her math grade up she will not be going to high school next year.
I could enumerate the number of times I have grounded, taken away privileges, threatened, bribed et all. No one wants to read that.
Sue has pushed me TOO FAR. I don't care that her bio-dad was arrested for hurting her, I don't care that she has a learning disability that makes Math hard for her. I am done with excuses from me and from her.
Starting yesterday I took over her life completely, Sarah Boot Camp started. If Sue can't make good decisions then she gets no decisions to make.
She gets up at 5:30 am and then does calisthenics while I count her reps. Breakfast is what I provide, I pack her lunch. Shower time is when I say and for how long I tell her. Dinner is what is put in front of her, no complaining. Every aspect of her day is accounted for.
Zero tolerance is the new game in our house. The only responses that are acceptable to me are "Yes mam", "No Mam" and "Thank you Mam".
When a rule is broken, the consequence is drop and give me 20 push ups. (Sue hates exercise).
The first day was rough, I don't like being a hard ass. The second day has been better. I thought Sue would hate me and rebel. Yet this morning on the way to school she thanked me for loving her enough to help her this way.
Wait...is she playing me....remember Sue is a master of manipulation...
Well wish me luck and let me know what you think of my new child rearing strategy.