"No woman wants an abortion as she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche. She wants an abortion as an animal caught in a trap wants to gnaw off its own leg." - Frederica Mathewes-Green
a·bor·tion/əˈbôrSHən/
Noun:
1. The deliberate termination of a human pregnancy.
2. A miscarriage.
Synonyms:
miscarriage - failure
I had an abortion when I was 17 years old.
I was dating a Marine at the time. He was nice but he was 5 years older than me. My parents were okay with that because he was in the military and they figured I was smart enough not be careless with who I dated.
We went out for eight months, and I was waiting to have sex, due to my previous encounter with rape at 16. On New Year's Eve, *Greg was drinking heavily and we were hanging out with a few people. I had one beer that night, I wasn't in the mood to drink.
Greg decided he didn't feel good so he went into the house, into a spare bedroom to lay down, and I followed him to make sure he was alright. We talked for a little about his dad, his brothers, and all of a sudden, Greg rolls over onto top of me and starts kissing me. He smelled of Jack Daniels and cigarettes. I kept trying to get him to stop, but he wouldn't. He kept muttering that he wanted me and that he was tired of waiting. As much as I fought, his strength was more powerful than mine. He ended up yanking my pants down, and he raped me while holding my arms together. I couldn't stop crying.
When he was done, he fell asleep, and I quickly pulled my jeans up and ran home, sobbing. I ended up sitting in the woods, while the sparks of fireworks were visible in the sky but distant.
A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. I didn't tell my parents I was raped. I was considering my options but I was set on abortion. I was sick, I was in shock, I was a mess. I talked to Greg, and told him what he did. He didn't remember anything, but said he'd pay for my abortion.
I was 9 weeks along when I went in for a consultation at Planned Parenthood. The nurses were very nice, sweet, and understanding. They gave me information and pamphlets about abortion, parenting and adoption. They explained that if I wanted to continue my pregnancy, they would get me prenatal vitamins, I could come in for my doctor appointments, and they would help me throughout with formula, clothes, and some furniture. I declined. They then moved on to adoption, and discussed possible options such as open adoption, semi- open, and closed. My mind drifted off and I asked them to get to the abortion. The nurse hesitated but she went ahead and started describing the process.
"Well, first, you would have to have a counsel session, after that, you will make an appointment. When you will come in for your abortion, we will have you strip waist down, and cover up. The doctor will come in and talk to you for a few minutes, ask you some questions, and when he decides you're ready, they will begin. They will insert a speculum into your vagina, numb your cervix which may feel uncomfortable for a few seconds, and then they will widen your cervix, insert the cannula and suction out the fetus."
It sounded confusing to me, so I asked her to simplify it for me. She then continued to ask me if I am absolutely sure I wanted an abortion. I said yes without hesitation.
The day of the termination came, and I was calm, but scared. When I arrived at the center, there weren't many people in the waiting room, there were 2 girls who looked terrified, there was a guy who was sitting on the edge of the chair, chewing on his nails, and there was me, with my mom and step-dad. My mom held my hand and was calm. My dad sat quietly, reading a magazine. I was finally called back and asked if my mom could go with me. They said yes. When we went back into the room, they told me they needed to perform an ultrasound. I lifted my shirt and the nurse asked if I wanted to see it. I declined but my mom asked if she could. I turned away from the screen to see my mom look blankly at the images. She continuously asked the nurse what she was looking at, and as the nurse kept pointing out different parts, my mom still couldn't tell what was what. After the nurse left, my mom told me it looked like a blob.
When I was finally ready to have my abortion, I was called back again, but this time, it was a different room. I sat in a chair and talked to the doctor who asked me if I understood what I was doing. I said yes, I didn't want to be pregnant and that is why I was there. She talked to me a little longer, asked me if anyone was pressuring me to have an abortion, if I had a good support system.
When she assessed that I wasn't being coerced into it, she told me take off my jeans, and lay on the table, she draped a sheet over my legs while she put my feet in stirrups. She then went ahead with the procedure. I felt a little discomfort, much like menstrual cramps during the abortion. When it was finished, I asked if I could see the remains, and she lifted up a jar of pink mush. I was a little surprised to see that there were no arms or legs in there like most Pro- Lifers claim. I asked her about that, and she laughed and said that so early in the pregnancy, it's difficult to find anything intact after an abortion, nonetheless arms, legs, or any body parts.
I was taken to the recovery area, was given some Ibuprofen, and some water. I was there for about 30 minutes.
When we were leaving the building, there were protesters outside with posters of fetuses, claiming they were aborted. I looked over at them, and smirked after seeing my own abortion, it was NOTHING like what they tried to exploit. I told my mom right then and there that those protesters made me more Pro-Choice than I already was. She looked at me, and took my hand in silence.
To this day, any time I mention I have had an abortion to anyone, there is always ONE person who says that I killed my baby, I am a murderer, I don't deserve to live, and that I, myself, should have been aborted. I suppose my life doesn't matter over something that isn't even aware of its own existence. What I do not understand is how someone can call themselves Pro- Life if all they care about is fetuses over grown women who are living, breathing, thinking human beings, and would rather have a woman die for the sake of something that needs the woman to live.
*Changed name.