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After winning this week's primaries in Maryland, Washington, DC and Wisconsin—and in doing so, effectively wrapping up the GOP nomination for president—Harvard alumnus Mitt Romney (Class of '75) began to turn his knobs toward the general election.

Speaking to the American Society of Newspaper Editors on Wednesday, Romney sketched a caricature of President Obama as an out-of-touch elitist who's trying to play hide-and-seek with the radical agenda he cooked up in the Harvard faculty lounge.

Mitt Romney, on the other hand, would never be caught dead near Cambridge, MA... he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you and me.

Romney also sought to dispel the notion that he has a problem with women.

To even suggest that he does is as ridiculous as claiming that the GOP is waging a war on caterpillars; and Mitt's got the wife to prove it.

Bottom line: Mitt Romney thinks we're all fucking morons.

Meet the Press: Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL); Ohio Gov. John Kasich (R); Archbishop-Designate of Baltimore William Lori, Daughter of Billy Graham Anne Graham Lotz, Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-MO), Rep. Raul Labrador (R-ID) and Author Jon Meacham.

Face the Nation: Cardinal Timothy Dolan; Roundtable: Richard Land (Southern Baptist Convention), Rabbi David Wolpe (Sinai Temple) , Rev. Luis Cortes (Esperanza USA), Sally Quinn (Washington Post) and Andrew Sullivan (Newsweek/Daily Beast).

This Week: Pastor Rick Warren; Author Kay Warren; Roundtable: George Will (Washington Post), David Chalian (Yahoo News), Georgetown University Professor Michael Eric Dyson, Chrystia Freeland (Reuters) and Peggy Noonan (Wall Street Journal).

Fox News Sunday: Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA); Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI); Sen. Kent Conrad (D-ND); Roundtable: Brit Hume (FoxNews), Mara Liasson (NPR), Steve Hayes (Weekly Standard) and David Drucker (Roll Call).

State of the Union: DNC Chair/Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL); Pollster Mark Penn; Pollster Linda DiVall; Former Solicitor General Ken Starr; Former Acting Solicitor General Neal Katyal; Ralph Reed (Faith and Freedom Coalition); Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-MO); David Brody (Christian Broadcasting Network); Reliable Sources: David Zurawik (Baltimore Sun); Marisa Guthrie (Hollywood Reporter); Sharon Waxman (TheWrap.com); Debra Saunders (San Francisco Chronicle); Erin McPike (Real Clear Politics); John Aravosis (AmericaBlog).

The Chris Matthews Show: TBD.

Fareed Zakaria GPS: Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak; Journalist Ahmed Rashid; Peter Bergen (CNN); Philip Coggan (The Economist); Nobel Peace Prize Winner Leymah Gbowee.

Up with Chris Hayes: Jonathan Alter (MSNBC); Richard Kim (TheNation.com); Michelle Goldberg (Newsweek/Daily Beast); Esther Armah (WBAI-FM); Nan Aron (Alliance for Justice).

Melissa Harris-Perry: Columbia University Professor Dorian Warren; Emery Whalen (John Besh Foundation); Jonathan M. Katz (Associated Press)

Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: a report on the European debt crisis (preview); an interview with leading polo player Ignacio "Nacho" Figueras, who is the face of the Ralph Lauren brand (preview); and, a report on the Congo's Kimbanguist Symphony Orchestra—the only symphony orchestra in Central Africa and the only all-black one in the world (preview).

Virtually Speaking Sundays on Blog Talk Radio will feature: Jay Ackroyd and Avedon Carol discussing the pagan traditions that underlie our Christian celebrations. Or something.

On Comedy Central:

Jon Stewart reviewed Sarah Palin's guest hosting gig on "The Today Show."

The Daily Show

Monday: Journalist/Author Tim Weiner

Tuesday: CEO of SpaceX Elon Musk

Wednesday: Actor/Comedian Ricky Gervais

Thursday: Musician Esperanza Spaulding

And Stephen Colbert examined the GOP's Latino problem.

The Colbert Report

Monday: Former VP of General Motors Bob Lutz

Tuesday: Author Richard Hersh

Wednesday: First Lady Michelle Obama

Thursday: Founder/CEO of Change.org Ben Rattray

Elsewhere...

Newt Gingrich's think tank collapsed under the weight of his "big ideas."

"Much like his presidential campaign, even the receipt of millions of dollars could not keep Newt Gingrich’s health-care think tank afloat," said Charles S. Bullock III, political science professor at The University of Georgia. "While health-care costs have bankrupted many without insurance, Gingrich may be the first to go broke studying health-care delivery."

Meanwhile...

RedState founder/CNN contributor Erick Erickson shared some of his old-fashioned ideas about where a woman's place is.

ERICKSON: Who cares? Who cares that she wasn’t invited into the club? She's a woman — women aren’t allowed! …. It is striking to me just how political the president wants to make everything. The war on women coming home to The Masters. Who freakin' cares? [...]

I don’t care that The Masters are a male-dominated event. I don’t care that women aren’t members of The Masters. Frankly, I kind of like the idea that women aren't members of The Masters. Good Lord, I don't want to be hanging out at some women's event! Can't men go anywhere and just be men? There are plenty of places where women can be women. … You know what Mr. President, why don’t you just leave the partisanship out of golf?!

And, in tangentially-related news...

John McCain—who believes women should be allowed to join Augusta National Golf Club—has an idea about who'd make a good VP for Mitt Romney.

"I think it should be Sarah Palin," McCain said on CBS as he broke into laughter, when asked about Palin's suggestion Tuesday night that the eventual presidential nominee should "go rogue" in their VP selection.

Asked by the laughing hosts of "This Morning" whether he had spoken to Palin about this, the Arizona senator said, "No, I haven't."

"I think that we have some very qualified candidates. Obviously, Marco Rubio is in the top tier, Chris Christie, there are a number of candidates we have out there, Bobby Jindal, Mitch Daniels. We have a wealth of talent right there, and I’m sure that Mitt will make the right choice," he said.

As he burst into laughter again, McCain added, "Obviously, it's a tough decision."

Is he fucking kidding?!

- Trix

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