Skip to main content

It seems a lot of people were up in arms over Rosen's comments today. Not exactly for what she said, but for the implicit implications that stay-at-home mom isn't a real job. I can understand the outrage, and I can understand Rosen's apology. However, I am still waiting for Ann Romney's apology for the implicit implications of her own statements.

When I was a kid, I never realized how nice it was to have a stay-at-home mom. You really don't appreciate it. When you become a teenager, you appreciate it even less. When other kids got home, they had the house all to themselves. When I got home, my mom was there. She'd be nagging me to do my homework or not watch TV or something else like that. You don't want someone over your shoulder at that age; it's annoying. One day I snapped that she could get a job. It wasn't an accusation of laziness; it was a statement of wanting teenage freedom. Of course, she talked about how much she loved raising us, how much she loved being there for us, but I don't think the words "choice" ever came from her mouth. Not long ago, somehow the subject came up again. The words "choice" weren't uttered because being a stay-at-home mom WASN'T a choice.

There's a dichotomy to Ann Romney's words: You either choose to work or you choose to be a stay-at-home mom. She was fortunate enough to have a choice. There has been a lot of talk about those who can't choose the stay-at-home option, but what about those who have the work option shut out on them? The implication of Romney's statements is that stay-at-home mom's choose that. Many of them don't. My mom didn't.

At some point when we were little, she wanted to get back to work. She tried to snag a few jobs. My mom has a Master's degree (it's either in business or economics, I'm sorry that I can't quite remember). She's pretty damn smart, but she couldn't find a job that would pay anywhere near what my dad's did. Add the cost of things like a nanny or daycare, the loss of child tax credits with the additional income, and so on, and it just didn't make fiscal sense. If I recall, the best job she said she could find would have ended up netting our family $0.80/hour after additional expenses of her having the job. That's not a choice; that's an insult to my mom's Master's degree.

She tried again later when we were mostly grown. She was turned down because she didn't have any recent experience. Again, this was not a choice.

Once we all left to go to college, she did manage to find some work--mostly with the 2000 and 2010 Census--but with no kids and my dad retired, this made sense economically again.

Ultimately, I hate the repeated lie that 25% of women "choose" to be stay-at-home moms (according to one news report). No, 25% of women ARE stay-at-home moms. You DO NOT know if that is a choice.

I don't want to hear about how hard Ann Romney worked. My mom worked hard. My dad worked hard. My mom worked hard as a stay-at-home mom. We didn't have a maid. The Romneys have four. You know who had to help my mom out at home? My dad! We didn't hire a company to mow our lawn--For Pete's sake, my dad mowed it! That's working. My mom was a hard-working stay-at-home mom. Someone with four maids trying to classify herself in the same "hard-working" category as my mom? I'm sorry, I'm just not standing for it. And I'm waiting Ann Romney to apologize to her.

Fri Apr 13, 2012 at 11:22 AM PT: Update: It appears my diary is on the recommended list. I think this is the first time I have had this honor. A big thank you to everyone.

Originally posted to Poingly on Thu Apr 12, 2012 at 03:31 PM PDT.

Also republished by Community Spotlight.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

GainesT1958, Nobody, Chi, MadRuth, ferg, Debby, Wintermute, waytac, StevenJoseph, Matilda, zeroooo, JLFinch, fugwb, SoCalJayhawk, otto, Aquarius40, Bill Roberts, splashy, Cedwyn, revsue, Quege, RLF, ksuwildkat, sockpuppet, cosette, Sychotic1, riverlover, ybruti, mungley, Pola Halloween, Steven D, vacantlook, kbman, maybeeso in michigan, historys mysteries, radarlady, caul, alaprst, revbludge, PBen, ccasas, sandrad23, myeye, catleigh, emejia, madmommy, PSzymeczek, farmerchuck, SaraBeth, ladybug53, Ginny in CO, FindingMyVoice, dazed in pa, SocioSam, zozie, kathny, third Party please, redcedar, Nance, detroitmechworks, myboo, Kingsmeg, tarantula, seefleur, mystery2me, blueoasis, global citizen, sinkler, Libby Shaw, middleagedhousewife, hlsmlane, vivian darkbloom, IL clb, zedaker, Tom Anderson, ipsos, ms badger, Aaa T Tudeattack, FlamingoGrrl, devis1, LillithMc, Tenn Wisc Dem, bnasley, jhop7, cececville, uciguy30, GeorgeXVIII, janatallow, Azubia, JDWolverton, MKinTN, Clio2, TX Freethinker, HappyinNM, Marko the Werelynx, Sixty Something, Its any one guess, Calamity Jean, NYmama, Cassandra Waites, WoodlandsPerson, mofembot, elpacifico66, luckylizard, My Spin, JamieG from Md, dmhlt 66, enufisenuf, CA coastsider, Dirtandiron, litoralis, LinSea, Gorilla in the room, bfitzinAR, Shelley99, Larsstephens, Renie57, awcomeon, little lion, klompendanser, Crabby Abbey, NM Ray, anonevent, petesmom, science nerd, cany, theKgirls, Jane Lew, spindr27, redlum jak, muzzleofbees, NYGrandma, La Gitane, m00finsan, kevin k, Nicci August, ca union goon, badscience, IllanoyGal, Angela Quattrano, slooterdam, beka, essjay, worldlotus, wintergreen8694, gnbhull, mali muso, Vatexia, allergywoman, Madrig, davryanna, bluebottles, Cordyc, anodnhajo, Flying Goat, ahumbleopinion, tb92, rukidingme, FloridaSNMOM, Trotskyrepublican, congenitalefty, scarolinamom, belinda ridgewood, oldflowerchild, SierraDrinker, TBug, jts327, radical simplicity, Arahahex, flume, Margd, Noddy, LoreleiHI, FrY10cK, marty marty, Kayjay, Anonyman, corpsechorus, Rosedale, nuclear winter solstice, blueoldlady, Blue Bell Bookworm, Chaddiwicker, wozzlecat, bellyofthesun, averblue, Jollie Ollie Orange, horque, LaraJones, Icicle68, katiekitteh, missquested, starfu, DaisiesnDaffodils, Middle Class Survivor, k9kiki

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site