GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or thinking of quitting (or want to support quitters), please - join us! We kindly ask that politics be left out.
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So, we've talked about this before in GUS, but I thought it might be time to revisit the issue, now that we have a few new folks on board, and a few people getting ready to hop back on the wagon.
Tonight's GUS is about treats and rewards.
More specifically, how to handle the sudden absence of the most reliable and long-standing "reward" or "treat" that most of us know and love/hate: cigarettes.
Early on in nicotine addiction, we learn to associate smoking with a number of things, including---maybe especially---stress relief. As a result, we begin to equate smoking with rewarding ourselves, and start seeing that smoke at the end of each task, event, or interaction as a treat. And when that "treat" is no more, when our old reliable stress-busting option goes away (and even when we've stopped of our own volition) we feel deprived.
And that, my friends, just plain sucks.
Let's face it, nobody likes feeling deprived. We like our little rewards and treats; they bring us pleasure. It's satisfying to know that at the end of dealing with something unpleasant (or boring, or stressful, or...well, just plain not something you want to be dealing with), you have a little somethin' somethin' to look forward to.
All too often we smokers "reward" ourselves (for anything and everything) with a smoke; it's such a part of our day-to-day lives that we really notice when it's gone. We feel deprived, or worse, as if we're being punished, somehow.
So how do we tackle this? I'm going to suggest a two-pronged approach. Don't worry, it's pretty simple, I promise!
First up, it will help in the long run if you can re-frame that whole "smoking is a treat/reward" thing. If you can internalize the notion that it isn't a treat to be savored at the end of an onerous task; isn't a reward for a job well done; isn't anything except a thing that your addiction is compelling you to do, something that sends erroneous "reward" signals to your brain once you do it. It's a behavior you've been locked into, not a treat in and of itself. The more you treat each smoke as part of the endless, grinding routine of addiction, and the fewer positive associations you assign to it, the easier it is to disconnect from the behavior, and the less deprived you'll feel once it's gone.
The second part of the approach is the fun part: nobody ever said you can't have ANY treats in your life, or that it's wrong to reward yourself once you've accomplished something or been through a stressful experience or interaction. In fact it's quite the opposite; people do better---and feel better---when they ARE rewarded for those things.
Quitting smoking frees up a lot of time...and a lot of that is anxious, fidgety time at first. You'll be looking for ways to distract yourself, soothe yourself, lower your stress levels, and feel better in general. Treats and rewards can play a big part in that process. If you can identify those things that bring you pleasure or that feeling of reward---provide you something to look forward to, or give you something tangible to reinforce the positive behaviors you're choosing---and turn to them instead of your old "smoky treats," it'll make a difference.
It doesn't have to be the obvious stuff, either. You might enjoy sweet treats or indulge in a shopping spree or three (and that's okay! go for it!), but your rewards can also be positive, constructive pursuits: a new exercise plan; taking up a new hobby or learning a new skill; interaction with friends and loved ones (of the two- and four-legged variety); taking a class; something self-nurturing like massage, a pedicure, or a getting your hair done; finishing a project that you've been putting off; taking a trip...the possibilities are endless.
Me? I was big into fancy coffee when I first quit. I love decorating magazines and books, so I stocked up on both. I took myself to movie matinees, loving the fact that I could sit through super-long movies without fidgeting anymore. I bought myself plants and flowers to brighten my newly smoke-free surroundings.
I also reminded myself that a lot of the best treats in life are cheap or even free: a walk or hike, window shopping, poking through galleries or going to museums on free admission days. Point is, I learned to appreciate these things for the well-earned rewards and treats they are, and learned to stop feeling deprived because I didn't have those pretend "treats" and not-so-rewarding "rewards" anymore. If you haven't done this already, the sooner you do, the easier it gets.
If you're looking for ways to reward yourself after having to jump through IRS hoops, you can follow this link for all kinds of discounts and free stuff...some of them might still be good! But if you miss them, don't worry; there are some Earth Day freebies that await you on the 22nd!
So, GUS folks...what's your favorite treat?
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Has your life been affected by smoking or smokers in your life?
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