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Jon Stewart had another great segment last night chronicling the depravity of the GOP politicians and pundits in changing their tune so rapidly over supporting Mitt Romney.

Of course, these are congresspeople.  It's not their job to get Mitt Romney elected.  It's their job to stop the current President from getting anything done.  Romney's election is Fox's job.  It's not going to be a slam dunk either, because during the primary, Romney's nomination was not unanimous.
SARAH PALIN (2/12/2012): I am not convinced, and I don't think that the majority of GOP and independent voters are convinced.  And that is why you don't see Romney get over that hump.

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (11/16/2011): He's a northeastern Republican.  He's not a conservative. ... So, I mean, I'm not a big fan. ... My first choice was Mitch Daniels, and it wasn't a secret.

Well, I mean, that's not so bad.  His first choice was Mitch Daniels, Romney's probably second choice.
CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (11/16/2011): My second was Paul Ryan, and I tried to wrastle up a posse to force him into the race.
(octave higher) Ehhhhhh, his second was Paul Ryan, it's not so bad.  There's no shame in third place!
CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (11/16/2011): My third was Christie.
(Jon facepalms)

"My fourth was the ghost of Dwight Eisenhower.  My fifth was the character of Ron Swanson on NBC's Parks and Recreation.  And my sixth was Parliament Funkadelic's George Clinton.  I, ah, really don't like Mitt Romney."

So how are they gonna make this pivot?  Sarah Palin was not convinced that Mitt Romney's conservative enough.  She told people to vote for Newt Gingrich, for God's sake.  Is she convinced now?  It's only been two months.

SARAH PALIN (4/12/2012): I am convinced...
OK, I guess she's convinced now.  It's what I like about Palin: open-minded.  So what convinced her?
SARAH PALIN (4/12/2012): I am convinced that Governor Romney... he will know to surround himself with those who inherently know to go right, to err on the side of smaller, smarter government.  And that gives me a lot of comfort.
Basically, she's saying, "I don't trust Romney.  But I trust everyone he'll hire.  Yeah, that's what I'll do."  It's like how vegans sell you on tofu: "I know it tastes like shit, just put enough rice and soy sauce in there, you barely even know you're eating curdled soy bean, it'll be fine!"

So a little awkward.  But Krauthammer has an even longer voyage to travel.

3/9/2012:

BILL O'REILLY: Ah, you're not a big fan, though, of Mitt Romney.  I just suspect that you don't see him as a kind of guy you would want to see in the White House.  Am I wrong?

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER: You're wrong.  I actually like Romney, I think he's a very good man, and I think he would make a very good President.

But you just....!  He wasn't even your top, like, 20 before!  "I like him, he's not as good as my seventh choice, which was a plate of cold cuts in the shape of a face."

Video and full transcript below the fold.

As you know, the Republican presidential nomination has all been sewn up by now-presumptive nominee Willard Scott Mittington Romnasourus.  So now, it's time for the GOP party to rally around his candidacy.  I take you to footage of Tuesday's Conversations with Conservatives GOP congressman panel, shot apparently using Instagram's new video filter: 70s FBI undercover sting, which MySpace apparently just bought for $800 billion dollars.  All right, anyhow, here's their response to the question, are you excited about Mitt Romney?
4/17/2012:

REP RAUL LABRADOR, R-ID: I'm actually excited.  I have not endorsed any candidate.  I'm excited that the process is over.

REP. JOE WALSH, R-IL: The excitement ... will come from getting Barack Obama out of the White House.

REP. LOUIE GOHMERT, R-TX: If you're not sure about wanting to support Mitt Romney, whether you're liberal, or whether you're very conservative, you ought to be excited, because he's been on your side at one time or another.

That... good one, Representative Blurface Smudgensteen.  So they're coming around slowly to Romney.  By the way, this is why people hate cell phones, I just want to point this out.  You cannot in this world anymore shit talk about anybody.  Somebody's catching it on their phone.  It's like we're all paranoid mobsters.  What do you think about Romney?  "Ey, whoa, whoa, whaddaya you, crazy?  Let's take a walk to the candy store.  I'll tell ya what I think about Romney.  Just, you put a newspaper up in front of your face.  Boom.

Of course, these are congresspeople.  It's not their job to get Mitt Romney elected.  It's their job to stop the current President from getting anything done.  Romney's election is Fox's job.  It's not going to be a slam dunk either, because during the primary, Romney's nomination was not unanimous.

SARAH PALIN (2/12/2012): I am not convinced, and I don't think that the majority of GOP and independent voters are convinced.  And that is why you don't see Romney get over that hump.

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (11/16/2011): He's a northeastern Republican.  He's not a conservative. ... So, I mean, I'm not a big fan. ... My first choice was Mitch Daniels, and it wasn't a secret.

Well, I mean, that's not so bad.  His first choice was Mitch Daniels, Romney's probably second choice.
CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (11/16/2011): My second was Paul Ryan, and I tried to wrastle up a posse to force him into the race.
(octave higher) Ehhhhhh, his second was Paul Ryan, it's not so bad.  There's no shame in third place!
CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (11/16/2011): My third was Christie.
(Jon facepalms)

"My fourth was the ghost of Dwight Eisenhower.  My fifth was the character of Ron Swanson on NBC's Parks and Recreation.  And my sixth was Parliament Funkadelic's George Clinton.  I, ah, really don't like Mitt Romney."

So how are they gonna make this pivot?  Sarah Palin was not convinced that Mitt Romney's conservative enough.  She told people to vote for Newt Gingrich, for God's sake.  Is she convinced now?  It's only been two months.

SARAH PALIN (4/12/2012): I am convinced...
OK, I guess she's convinced now.  It's what I like about Palin: open-minded.  So what convinced her?
SARAH PALIN (4/12/2012): I am convinced that Governor Romney... he will know to surround himself with those who inherently know to go right, to err on the side of smaller, smarter government.  And that gives me a lot of comfort.
Basically, she's saying, "I don't trust Romney.  But I trust everyone he'll hire.  Yeah, that's what I'll do."  It's like how vegans sell you on tofu: "I know it tastes like shit, just put enough rice and soy sauce in there, you barely even know you're eating curdled soy bean, it'll be fine!"

So a little awkward.  But Krauthammer has an even longer voyage to travel.

3/9/2012:

BILL O'REILLY: Ah, you're not a big fan, though, of Mitt Romney.  I just suspect that you don't see him as a kind of guy you would want to see in the White House.  Am I wrong?

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER: You're wrong.  I actually like Romney, I think he's a very good man, and I think he would make a very good President.

But you just....!  He wasn't even your top, like, 20 before!  "I like him, he's not as good as my seventh choice, which was a plate of cold cuts in the shape of a face."

Perhaps the most acrobatic pivot towards Romney was accomplished counter-intuitively by political pundit and a man whose voice can only be described as "post-menopausal", Dick Morris.

DICK MORRIS (2/28/2011): Well, my view is that first, I do not like Romney.

DICK MORRIS (3/2/2011): There is no way this guy is going to get nominated with him having passed the equivalent of Obamacare. ... The party is never going to nominate somebody who's soft on this issue.

"I'm telling you, Romney is toast.  I would stake my reputation for honesty and political insight.  Now if you'll excuse me, Rose, Blanche, Sophia, and I have an Amaretto cheesecake we have to get to.

(wild audience applause)

All right.  So that was a pretty hardcore slam on Romney.  This pivot, now that he's going to be the nominee, should be interesting.

DICK MORRIS (4/11/2012): In terms of the factor of will conservatives will rally to Romney, I think they undoubtedly and unquestionably will, in massive numbers, with tremendous enthusiasm.
Are you fucking kidding me?

"Conservatives will never go for this guy" to "He is the greatest thing since sliced Reagan."  That is a serious pivot.  I'll give Dick Morris the benefit of the doubt.  Perhaps he spent some time with Mr. Romney, has learned about his positions, has had an epiphany, a conversion, if you will, based on principle.  And I will continue to believe that until or unless I am presented with evidence that this was in fact a cynical, opportunistic, and utterly without-foundations conversion, based solely on slightly easing Dick Morris's already disingenuous partisan salesmanship job.

DICK MORRIS (6/13/2011): I decided a couple of - a month or two ago - to stop dumping on Mitt Romney.  Not because I approve of Romneycare, not because I approve of his flip-flops, flip on abortion, but because I may have to be one of those who carries this guy for a couple of months when he's running against Obama, and I don't want to make my own task harder.
(slightly shocked audience laughter)

"My point is this.  I may be unprincipled, but I'm also very lazy."

We'll be right back.

Jon also covered some Axis of Evil news.
Meanwhile, Stephen named Cory Booker his Alpha Dog of the Week, before airing a story about smugglers at the Mexican border trying to smuggle in... bologna.  Oh, and did you know TIME magazine ranked Stephen as one of their Top 100 Most Influential people of 2012?

Jon then interviewed "fixer" Judy Smith, while Stephen interviewed Tavis Smiley and Cornel West.

Originally posted to BruinKid on Fri Apr 20, 2012 at 05:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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