Mr. B, my 10th grade World Civilizations teacher, was one of the few teachers who could make history come alive for me. We didn't spend much time reading textbooks; most of our learning came through research and development, rehearsal, and production of skits that showed, rather than told, what life was like in the Days of Olde. I was the Serf on the Feudal Manor one week; the Young Girl Leaving the Farm for the Industrial Revolution another.
It didn't take long to figure out that, in both these scenarios, being the worker under the thumb of the Feudal Lord or the Mill Owner would kind of suck, and that by comparison, our parents and other grown-ups in the 1960's had it pretty good. Work might have been a drag, but at the end of the day, my folks could come home to our middle class house where we enjoyed an indoor lifestyle, food, good schools, heat, and other niceties of "normal" life.
Workers face a likely return to the Oppressive Conditions of Yore under the rule of Lord Mitt of Romney. Despite his Vast Wealth, Lord Mitt yearns for the one thing that has eluded him: the Brass Ring of Control, whereby millions of decent, hardworking folks would have to bend to his will, and pledge allegiance not to their country, but to this insufferable overlord (who by the way would still want more and more).
Convinced of his Inevitability, Lord Mitt is now asking members of his party to sign loyalty pledges or risk ostracism from the Proceedings in Tampa. Lord Mitt himself, of course, will sign just about anything, knowing in what passes for his heart that he can always repudiate it later. The Truth is an elusive concept in the Land of Mitt; his years in the Corporate Tower have enabled him to prevaricate with ease, making shit up as needed in order to pander to the audience du jour. Anyone expecting to redeem one of Lord Mitt's pledges will find it as worthless as a Sarah Palin commitment to appear at a speaking event.
Follow along below the wage gap for more...
It's therefore curious, to say the least, that the Lying Lord Mitt is requiring others to sign pledges confirming their loyalty to him. Perhaps he imagines that he and he alone is entitled to lie, but others must to the Line of Truthiness. Woe unto the hapless serfs who renege on a pledge to the Indignant One, for they will be stripped of their homes, lands, and horsepower and consigned to toil in the Land of Bain, where the Sword of Severance dangles over their work space.
To enable us to prepare for this untoward turn of events, your Intrepid Diarist has compiled this Guide to Oaths and Pledges (GOP) of the Realm.
First, a primer on the differences between Oaths and Pledges. A pledge is defined as:
"A formal promise to do something, as the performance of an obligation or duty, or to refrain from doing something."
This can include commitments to public broadcasting (at least until it's outlawed under the Mittpocalyse), saying that, yes, you will indeed send in that check in exchange for a lovely totebag. Or it can be something more far reaching, as a Norquistian pledge wherein politicians pledge not to raise taxes (except of course on the poor, in the form of egregious fees and denial of paid-for benefits).
An oath is defined as:
"A formal declaration or promise to fulfill a pledge, often calling upon God or some other sacred object as witness."
Thus Scarlett O'Hara's melodramatic vow that
"As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again."
could be considered an oath. It's one you might want to keep handy, too, for the Dystopian Days Ahead under Lord Mitt's Reign of Error.
Republicans, as you've no doubt already figured out, are not sticklers on semantics, and you will hear them using the terms "pledge" and "oath" interchangeably. As they nudge our country closer to a theocracy, expect an uptick in oaths, as anyone who Would Not Swear an Oath Invoking God will need to get a special visit from the Authorities.
Thus, for the sake of convenience, we will use the term "oath" in the following classification scheme:
Oath of Office: fear not, fellow serfs, this one's not for you. Only Lord Mitt and others duly elected or appointed elite get to sign this one. Given Lord Mitt's willingness to say absolutely anything, expect him to take this oath, then turn his back on the duties of the Presidency as he outsources all governmental operations to his Bainian Minions while he hides out in his hermetically sealed Western Castle counting his money.
Oath of Allegiance: you're probably familiar the pledge of allegiance. This is similar, but requires your allegiance to Lord Mitt, whose greatness eclipses that of the country.
Oath of Citizenship: for many who risk life and limb to reach our shores, swearing this oath is a wonderful milestone. However, under the Romney Self-Deportation Scheme, few will enjoy this unique opportunity. Those who do will undoubtedly reach our shores as indentured servants, making a mockery of the concept of full citizenship.
Oath of Enlistment: upon joining our armed forces, enlisting personnel vow to, among other things, support and defend the Constitution. While true conservatives view the Constitution as one of the trinity of Sacred Documents including the Bible and anything written by Ayn Rand, Lord Mitt finds it a needless impediment to advancement of the Corporatist Vision. Thus, you may encounter versions of this oath where the term "Constitution" is replaced by "The One Percent".
Oath of Fealty: no, not realty. You won't be owning any of that under the Romney Regime. Fealty is "the obligation of loyalty owed by a vassal to his feudal lord", and it's the kind of one-sided pledge that Lord Mitt really likes. YOU get to turn over your home, job, land, and your children's future. In return, Lord Mitt promises that he will still throw you under the bus. While consulting an attorney before signing any oaths of fealty might mitigate your risk, there's every likelihood that attorneys are in league with the evil Lord.
Oath of Loyalty: like "fealty", loyalty hearkens back to a time when a man's word was his bond, and interpersonal dealings were carried out with honor and respect. Under the Mittpocalypse, you can kiss that shit goodbye.
Oath of Silence: well, here's a little paradox for you. How do you take an oath of silence? Just nod when they read you the wording?? Make the universal "zipped lips" sign? In an ideal world, we'd be able to impose this oath on blathering politicians, but under the Mittpocalypse, you may want to take this oath rather than speaking out against The Authorities.
Finally, there's the Hippocratic Oath, which advices physicians: "First, do no harm". I guess it's a little late for that now, but next election year, it's something we might want to consider.