In exactly two weeks I will turn 66. Each year as May 23 approaches, I find myself reflecting, looking back on the year that has passed, wondering what if anything I might have to offer on that date itself. Certainly in the year that I turned 60 that seemed most appropriate.
This year is somewhat different. My birthday will occur less than 3 weeks before I leave the school at which I have taught, except for one year, since 1998. It will be exactly one week before my department holds an informal reception to honor me, one to which several of my former principals, one from this school and one from my first school, have agreed to come.
By then I may know what I will be doing next year, or perhaps I will be as uncertain as I am now as to what the future may hold.
One week from now will be the day after my students have taken their Advanced Placement examination. Yesterday was the last FORMAL practice they will have, and it was eye opening for a few. Out of the 25 questions, 6 were of the type "which of the following .... EXCEPT" and many students missed four or more of those because they did not force themselves to look at ALL the answers, and thus catch themselves on the key word, EXCEPT. I have done what I can to prepare them for HOW to take the test.
But yesterday was also a touching day in other ways.
Let me explain.
Yesterday was Teacher Appreciation Day. As is the practice at Eleanor Roosevelt High School, our PTSA prepared a delicious lunch for the entire staff (including the cafeteria workers and custodians, as well as those students who belong to Future Educators of America). That lunch was held in the cafeteria conference room, the same venue where three weeks from today my department will hold my informal retirement reception.
Teacher lunches correspond with the student lunch periods, which run periods 3-7 (out of the 8 regular periods). My "lunch" period is not until 7th, and my planning is 2nd, before the cafeteria serves lunch. I went down then, and since they were set up was able to enjoy a leisurely "lunch at about 9:30!! Since that is normally when I eat that was not a problem.
But it also meant I was able to chat with the parents who were already there, as I did again when I came back during 7th for dessert.
I was asked by several if I were really retiring. I said I was. One parent whose children I had previously taught remarked on how much her children had learned from me. With another we had a chance for a somewhat extended discussion on her son, who while very bright sometimes hides behind a bit of sarcasm. When I came back 7th the mother of perhaps my most conservative student thanked me for challenging her daughter and helping her learn how to think and express her ideas more clearly.
By now many of my former students who are still in the building are aware that I am leaving. They stop and chat with me. Those who are seniors want me to know where they have decided to go to college. Some who are juniors approach me to ensure that I will write letters of recommendation for them next year.
All of this reminds me of what I am leaving - I have been a part of this community for more than a decade. I have often taught several children from the same family, and in a handful of cases three (including of one of our outstanding teachers, who got her National Board certification in the same cohort as me). Even if I teach next year, it will be different. I understand that. I have some regrets at losing that, even as I know it is time for me to move on and do something else.
Real instruction is over. Through last year my non-AP students had a state test for which to prepare, and by now we would be in the midst of that preparation. My AP students would have taken their AP exam on Monday of the 1st week - two days ago - and they two would be in the midst of that review (this year the AP Gov exam is Tuesday of the 2nd week). All they have left is final projects and an open book final essay exam that is done at home (which one student has already turned in).
For my non-AP students, this is an occasion to explore some topics in depth, without the pressure of learning to regurgitate on an exam. Given the conjunction of Biden's comments (and similar blunt remarks by Arne Dunca) and yesterday's vote on Amendment One in NC, we explored the topic of same sex marriage in my two non-AP classes. What is interesting is that even those students who for religious reasons oppose same sex marriage are in general willing to accept same-sex civil unions: it is the word "marriage" that bothers them. We looked at the countries which allow it - including a number of NATO countries and also the Catholic nations of Spain, Portugal and Argentina (as well as Mexico City and one state in Brazil). I shared how different their experience is from mine growing up, on both interracial relationships (I graduated from high school 4 years before Loving v Virginia) and people being openly gay. In one class a student noted that we have several openly gay teachers who will respond openly when asked about it by students. They live in a very different world than that in which I grew up - and, perhaps surprising in a heavily African-American community, one far more liberal on this topic than many communities around the nation.
Today my non-AP students will see a video. In the next three days we will watch each day about 30 minutes of something from PBS. Today I think they will learn about Jeanette Rankin, the first woman ever elected to the House, elected in 1916 and then again in 1940, each time voting against US declarations for what became known as World Wars. Tomorrow and Friday we will look back at the American Revolution, including the British attempt to get slaves to rise up against their American masters, something that had a profound impact especially in Virginia.
I can look back on this year, on any year in which I have taught, and see things i wish I had done differently.
I do look back and wonder why it took me so long to understand certain students. Why I had such difficulty reaching some, even after 16 previous years of teaching.
This year I also look back on my exploration of alternatives outside the classroom. I was not accepted by either of the prestigious programs to which I applied, but the process of exploration helped me clarify my thinking, made me realize i was ready to move on.
The longest I had ever been at a previous job was 8.5 years, and that two had an interruption to do something else, albeit for only 6 months.
I have spent 13 years in this building, ten consecutively.
I am a very different person than when I arrived in 1998.
I am grayer, not as full of energy, to be sure.
I have started to pack up and bring things home.
I find myself looking around the building, my mind filling with memories of people and events in different parts of the building - some not so pleasant, such as breaking up fights.
Still, I find myself savoring the memories, most of all of students who have enriched my life, and helped me grow - to be a better teacher to be sure, but of greater importance, to be a better person.
Two weeks from today I will be 66, and start another year on earth, one that may lead me to very different places.
That will be soon enough.
If I do not again serve as a classroom teacher, still I will have been very lucky. I did not find my path until relatively late in life as I approached 50.
What caused me to pursue teaching was attending a Haverford reunion - in 1992. The weekend after my forthcoming birthday I will attend the 45th reunion of that same class.
My life moves along.
Now even as I look to take on even more challenges, I try to be sure to take time to reflect, on what I have experienced, on what might come next.
I will in a few minutes depart for school. Today is our faculty meeting. Today we prepare for graduation, on May 29th. My last graduation as a teacher at Eleanor Roosevelt.
Each day brings reminders that this phase of my life is coming to an end. At the same time each day reminds me of similar things in the past years.
Taking time to reflect - absolutely priceless.
Peace.