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Mitt Romney
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(Matthew Reichbach
Think Progress reports from the land of Mitt, where up is down, down is up, the trees are the right height and the cookies all taste like crap:
The Miami Herald’s Marc Caputo reports that next week the Romney campaign will be doing a major fundraising blitz across Florida, including an event “at the Star Island manse of pharmaceutical magnate Phil and Pat Frost where dinner costs $50,000.”

Who is Dr. Phil Frost? He is the Chairman of the Board of Directors of Teva Pharmaceuticals, a major manufacturer of contraceptives. Its North American website prominently advertises several forms of contraception, including Plan B One Step, which Romney previously denounced as an “abortive pill”:

Oh no! According to Mitt Romney, Plan B is evil, and he has previously expressed his no doubt very, very sincere outrage that religious folks will have to give their employees access to such evil, non-their-specific-religious-group-approved products. (Since, in Future America, employers will need to sign off on each individual medical request made by an employee. You thought it was bad to have your insurance company fighting with you, wait until all your medical decisions get decided by Larry, the floor manager, who may or may not believe that the Sun God disapproves of treating your ruptured appendix, especially at those prices.)

So if a certain small subset of religious prudes are up in arms over their employees getting birth control coverage even though they don't have to pay a dime towards it, doesn't Mitt Romney get similarly tainted by taking Teva Pharmaceuticals' filthy, filthy birth control money? (Oh, and since Mitt is under the impression that Plan B is an "abortion" pill, it's even worse than that.)

I can't wait to hear how Mitt Romney rationalizes this one. I have some guesses, though.

1. "I like money, and that guy over there has money, so shut up."

2." Money is people too, my friends."

3. "I'm only taking this money so that he can't spend it to make more birth control pills. I'm on your side here, people!"

4. "This is Florida, so, um, money is fungible and ... hey, look over there! Rick Scott's clubbing a baby deer!"

5. "No, seriously, I want this guy's money. Shut the hell up already. I will cut you."

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