From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
5 4 3 2 1 month 'til Netroots Nation!!!
With only 28 days 'til the convention in Providence, you can almost hear the packing of the steamer trunks. Here's your weekly update:
Oh, and just to be clear: I call dibs on the top bunk.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, May 10, 2012
Note: What this economy is more certainty! Er….right?
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the Wisconsin recall election: 26
Days 'til the official opening of Funtown Splashtown USA in Saco, Maine: 2
Number of people who attended the NAACP dinner in Detroit Monday: 10,000
Rank of the dinner among all annual sit-down dinners in the country in terms of attendance: #1
(Source: Rachel Maddow, who received an award there this year)
Asking price for Home Plate Farm, the house in Sudbury, Massachusetts that Babe Ruth lived in between 1922 and 1926: $1.6 million
Average amount expected to be spent on Mother's Day gifts this year, an 8% increase over last year: $152
Rank of flowers among the top gifts given: #1
(Source: National Retail Federation)
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
The conservatives have been preaching this Me First stuff as though life were a race to the finish and the only object is to pick up as much money as you can. It doesn't work---not even if you wind up with a lot of toys. As another noted economist said, we are becoming a nation of private opulence and public squalor.
Look, we all do better when we all do better. You raise the minimum wage, it works for everyone.
---May, 2006.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: It ain't the years, honey, it's the Miles.
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CHEERS to President Obama!!!! I'm writing this ahead of time, so I don’t know if he did or did not endorse gay marriage in his interview with ABC yesterday. If he did, good for him---acknowledging the civil rights of a minority is never a bad thing. If he didn't, good for him---he just saved himself a gob of votes in some major swing states and he can endorse marriage equality after he wins in November. Now…maybe we can get back on track and start talking about jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs again???
JEERS to President Obama!!!! I'm writing this ahead of time, so I don’t know if he did or did not endorse gay marriage in his interview with ABC yesterday. If he did, he's a terrible tactician who may have just put some major swing states in jeopardy. If he didn’t, what a schmuck---acknowledging the civil rights of a minority is just common sense. Seriously…WTF??? It's 2012!!! Oh well…now maybe we can get back on track and start talking about jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs again???
CHEERS to word pictures. I'm so clever this morning. Lookie what I done:
Romney | History | Obama
Get it? Get it??? See what I did there? Eat yer heart out, Shepard Fairey.
JEERS to lying liars and the lies they tell. Wow! Jonah Goldberg is such an amazing writer that he was nominated for not one but TWO Pulitzer prizes!!! Except he isn't. So he wasn't. And he had to admit it publicly. But if there's such a thing as the Jonah Goldberg Award for Shitty Writing and Lying, he's a lock!
CHEERS to bulldogs unleashed. On May 10, 1940, Winston Churchill was called in to replace Neville Chamberlain as British Prime Minister, after Mr. "Peace in our time" lost a confidence vote in the House of Commons. Churchill offered blood, sweat, toil and tears in the run-up to war. Years later, David Cameron offered austerity, austerity, austerity and austerity. Potato, puhtahto.
CHEERS to acting like a grownup. I wish to make the following statement:
Arpaio's getting in troooouble! Arpaio's getting in troooouble! Neener neener neener!!! Justice is is gonna spank him!!! Cuz he's a great big butthead!!! Butthead Butthead Butthead!!! And Steven Seagal can't saaaave him! Ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaa ha!!! And he'll go crying to Mommy!!! Wah wah wah wah waaahhhhhh wah!!!
Thank you.
JEERS to chickenshit in camo. Official Greene County, Virginia Republican Party newsletter item:
We have before us a challenge to remove an ideologue unlike anything world history has ever witnessed or recognized. . . . The ultimate task for the people is to remain vigilant and aware---that the government, their government is out of control, and this moment, this opportunity, must not be forsaken, must not escape us, for we shall not have any coarse[sic] but armed revolution should we fail with the power of the vote in November.
Apart from the fact that the above is nothing short of treason (armed rebellion against the government), can you imagine how fast that ragtag band of nosepickers would pee their pants after meeting the combined firepower of the local, state and federal war machines? I almost wish they'd try so I could see the bug-eyed looks of fear on their faces. Obama, of course, would be on a stallion wearing George Washington's hat and a cape as he routed the traitors. Because, as we all know, the Constitution states that any president who personally puts down a revolt gets an extra ten bucks a month in their pension.
Chaaaaarge!
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Five years ago in C&J: May 10, 2007
JEERS to the pot calling the kettle black. Russia's president Vladimir Putin---he of the pure soul, according to Bush the Commander Guy---says the United States has become like the Third Reich. See, that's where you're wrong, Vlad. In the Third Reich, I couldn’t call our leader a scumsucking incompetent greedy trigger-happy lying drunk coke addict warmonger shit-for-brains mealymouthed lunatic asshole. Now if you'll excuse me, the guard just shoved some slop under my cell door and I'd like to slurp in peace.
CHEERS to taking the news well. Tony Blair announced his resignation. And whaddyaknow...no one objected. That should make him feel better.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to getting owned…again. The Maine Republican party is so hapless and incompetent that it's almost breathtaking. First they pissed off their base by trying to exclude voters in two counties during the caucuses. Then they got their state convention hijacked last weekend by Ron Paul supporters who nabbed 21 out of 24 national delegates. And now we learn that the shiny new party platform, which they worked tirelessly to rewrite so it would seem a bit less paranoid and conspiratorial, was tossed in the trash by the Paulites in favor of the old one. So the official party line still includes the "myth of global warming," Austrian economics, and a belief that the U.N. is still trying to indoctrinate your children with invisible socialist gamma rays. I don’t know for sure that it's actually written on tinfoil…but they haven't denied it.
Have a nice Thursday, whatever you do...or not. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"I have to say that Bill in Portland Maine beats the crap out of both Thor and Captain America at table tennis."
---Tom Hiddleston
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