I don't write as well or as profusely as most diarists here, but I need to get this off my chest. I've been dealing with the death of my wife now for just over two years (Actually 2 years, two months and 8 days) now and the 'administrative claim' filed against the VA for malpractice I filed on the first anniversary of her death is once more in limbo land. It took the VA one full year after the claim was filed to complete their work. Once it left the hands of the VA attorney in our VISN, it was 'forwarded up the chain of command' to who knows where. I still have no sense of closure or justice for my wife nor for my daughter.
Hence my dilemma, I want to remember Mother's Day to honor my late wife for my daughter, I just don't know how without breaking down in front of my daughter. I don't need for her to think she needs to care for my emotional needs. Yet, that's what this has become at times, a reversal of roles. It is unhealthy for the both of us, but detrimental to a 13 year old's normal growth. It was suggested that we each write a story about her mom and then read them to each other. While it sounds good in theory, I am not sure I can do it and maintain any semblance of rationality. What I want is for my daughter to tell her mom happy mothers day and that she cannot do.
As a progressive, I believe good governance comes from good government. Right now, I don't think we have either after 40 years of right-wing idealogs wanting to become their own proof that government is the problem making it so troubled that all levels of government are dysfunctional. I want closure, I want justice, or maybe I wanted the VA to provide adequate medical care to my wife so she would still be living. Anyway you put it, Mothers Day just isn't the same when you're missing half of your soul.