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GUS (Giving Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. We avoid discussion of political issues. If you are quitting or even thinking about quitting, please -- join us!

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Our regular diarist flumptytail is off today, so I figured I'd offer some Friday filler material. Only this particular filler is both tasty and healthy. Matter of fact (emits Barney Fife sniffle), you might even say it's a super food.

"Yep. Garbanzo beans are a super food." My roommate set the homemade hummus on the patio table, along with a bag of El RancheroTM chips. Our neighbors, a young working couple, bartered a plate of cookies in return (chocolate chip with peanut butter).

Ann dipped a tortilla chip into the hummus, and declared it delicious, before replying on the subject in general. "If there are super foods, doesn't this imply that somewhere, there must be foods that are arch-villains?"

I thought this was a really good question, and must address it before concluding this diary with my roommate's recipe for hummus. Because if indeed there are foods that are heinous and diabolical, intent only on conquering the world, then I present to you public enemy #1: the TwinkieTM.

twinkieSponge cake, with creamy white filling. Sounds harmless, right? A snack to be enjoyed in moderation. A snack. It's just a snack. What is the big deal, dude?

Well, I'll tell you what's the big deal. Because you are obviously focused solely on the nutritional, or lack thereof, aspect of a Twinkie. Though this is a relevant piece of the mystery where the trail ends at the doorstep of Hostess, it's not the entire story. Like Skynet in The Terminator, Hostess is merely a conduit... a corporation that, through its own ineptitude, unwittingly created the tools of mankind's own destruction.

terminatorWhat makes the Twinkie so deadly? Its shelf life.

You've heard of this, right? Those seemingly harmless cream-filled cakes, wrapped in cellophane for your individual snacking pleasure, have the ability to outlast anything. And this alone makes it The Terminator of the food world. Because, while Arnold's character traveled hundreds of years back in time to kill humans, the Twinkie has the ability to go forward in time, lasting thousands of years, dispatching unwary opponents with a more subtle and patient methodology than its human-appearing counterpart.

It is truly an arch villain, a fiendish nemesis of humanity, the garbanzo bean, and even other sugary snacks of its own kind:  

Twinkie Train
A Twinkie T2, replicating and absorbing its chocolaty peanut butter opponent

Note: the astronomical shelf life of the Twinkie product is a myth.

*

Hummus (serves 2-8, depending on your appetite)

* garbanzo beans (16 oz.)
* lemon juice (3-5 tbsp.)
* Tahini (1 1/2 tbsp.)
* olive oil (2 tbsp.)
* garlic (2 cloves) / minced garlic (1 tbsp.)
* salt (1/2 tsp. - optional)

In a blender, mix everything together on medium for 2 minutes, or longer if necessary. If you make a triple batch like I do, be sure to add the garbanzo beans in intervals, so that the other ingredients keep the mixture blending fairly loosely. This way, you won't fry out your blender (like I do).

*
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