Tbogg now refers to the GOP Candidate as The Demon Barber of Cranbook --* all the inspiration I needed to write the rest of the song.
For those unfamiliar with the tune (The Tale of Sweeney Todd) here's a video.
And now**:
Romney Mitt: The Demon Barber of Cranbrook
Attend the tale of Romney Mitt.
A man devoid of taste or wit.
He roamed the halls with scissors drawn
From past midnight to the next day's dawn.
He did whatever he saw fit.
Did Romney Mitt. The Demon Barber of Cranbrook.
He led a life of wealth and ease.
He knew the very best height for trees.
It all was grand until one day.
He saw a kid that he thought was gay.
Did Romney. Did Romney Mitt. The Demon Barber of Cranbrook.
Hold those scissors tight, Willard,
Cut him down to size.
Trim the locks of all who dare to sodomize.
The deed was done when he was a teen.
It must have been quite the brutal scene.
And though Mitt just forgets it all,
Those friends of his have total recall,
Of Romney. Of Romney Mitt. The Demon Barber of Cranbrook.
Attend the tale of Romney Mitt.
A man devoid of taste or wit.
Apologies, he will not make.
He’s running for office for goodness sake.
Is Romney. Is Romney Mitt. The Demon Barber of Cran. . . brook.
* based on an anonymous tweet.
** Apologies if I have offended anyone, including, inter alia, without limitation, Steven Sondheim, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Len Cariou and Angela Lansbury, but not including Mitt Romney, Eric Fehrnstrom and Liz Cheney.