From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Tuesday Margaret & Helen
The blogosphere's most famous 80-somethings don’t post often, but when they do, it's worth a peek. Helen:
I know. I know. We all did dumb things when we were young. Youth. I miss it like I miss my waistline. Shit happens… or in this case Mitt happened. “Back in high school, I did some dumb things," Romney said. "And if anyone was hurt by that or offended, obviously I apologize for that." Me too. I really do feel bad about dipping Patricia’s hair into that ink well.
Mitt went on to say, “There’s going to be some that want to talk about high school. Well, if you really think that’s important, be my guest.”
Thank you Mr. Romney, I think I will. I think I will talk about this because unfortunately we don’t seem to have solved the problem yet. Bullying is alive and well today and it is just as inexcusable today as it was 48 years ago. You can send your wife out to the media to laugh about your “wild and crazy” high school years but I wonder how the two of you would have reacted if that had been done to one of your sons. Wild and crazy? Yes, actually. It was. And it’s even more wild and crazy today that anyone would want to honor you with the highest office in the land. Mitt was the son of a Governor… born into a privileged life. You can’t tell me he didn’t know any better.
Margaret:
Helen, dear, I think this all has to do with the length of time little Mitt was allowed to breast feed. Or maybe he’s just a asshat. Probably the latter, dear.
Good call. Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Note: Y'know, there's just something about you that rubs me the wrong way. I think it's your Coracoclavicular ligaments.
-
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the start of the Memorial Day weekend: 10!!!
Days 'til the I Madonnari Italian Street Painting Festival at Old Mission Santa Barbara, CA: 11
Percent of countries that are considered to have a free press in 2012: 34%
(Source: Time)
Registered Maine voter preference for, respectively, Barack Obama and the other guy: 50% / 42%
Voters who trust President and the other guy, respectively, on women's issues: 58% / 22%
(Source: Critical Insights survey)
Percent decrease in the crime rate from 2000 to 2010 in states whose prison population increased by 10 percent: 17%
Percent decrease in states where the prison population shrank: 21%
(Source: Harper's Index)
-
Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
The Voodoo Priest is certainly George Soros. If we could legally get him out of the U.S. we could look forward to some improvement.
---Commenter Mariann at Powerline
All together now: 1…2…3…
Classy!
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: We'd be obliged if you'd send a positive vibe or two in the direction of C&J's 11 year-old chocolate lab, Molly, who is going in for surgery today to remove a cyst from her back that's gotten rather ugly. (We call it "the barnacle.") It's her first time under the knife in, like, eight years, so Daddy and Daddy will be a bit verklempt today. Tawk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic: fiddleheads are neither fiddles nor heads. Discuss…
-
CHEERS to spending a few minutes on the couch. Today's news cycle will no doubt include plenty of chatter about President Obama as he banters with Barbara, wisecracks with Whoopie, jawbones with Joy, evolves with Elisabeth, and shoots the shit with Sherri on The View. Among the topics up for discussion: the cluster-you-know-what at JP Morgan. Obama will speak loud enough to let viewers hear him fume, but soft enough to let Wall Street hear him wink. Smooth.
CHEERS to that thing I just read in Rupert Murdoch's Wall Street Journal. By that thing I mean this thing:
Prosecutors in the U.K. said they will charge the former head of News Corp.'s British newspaper unit, Rebekah Brooks, on Tuesday with conspiring to obstruct justice, marking the first charges filed in a wide-ranging criminal investigation into wrongdoing at the U.S. media company's British tabloids.
Helluva thing.
CHEERS??? to a really weird example of the transitive property. According to the New York Times, the tea party is now lurching so far to the right that they're actively recruiting U.S. Senate candidates who, should they get elected, will openly defy the orders of Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. McConnell is one of the slimiest double-dealing rat fink bastards ever to walk the halls of Congress...the sleazebag who proclaimed that his number-one goal in the midst of the Great Recession was to make President Obama a one-term president. So if the tea party despises McConnell, and I despise McConnell, and the enemy of my enemy is my friend, then the tea party is my friend. And if I may say: it's a bitch sliding a pair of underwear over a tricorn hat.
JEERS to Oklahomaphobes. Ever heard of Congressman James Lankford? He thinks it's just peachy to be able fire someone because they're gay. Yeah, but I'll bet dollars to doughnuts it's not half as peachy as being able to fire someone because he's Congressman James Lankford.
CHEERS to special deliveries. On May 15, 1918, the first airmail route got started in the U.S. It ran between Washington, Philadelphia and New York. They had to retool the operation when it became apparent that dangling a mailman from a rope was a really bad idea. Especially in Briarpatch County.
HMMM… to Angus King: Man of Mystery. The former (and very popular) independent Maine governor who will probably be our next senator (replacing Olympia Snowe) raised eyebrows last week when he said he might shun committee assignments if it means staying truly untethered from left- or right-wing ideology. But committees are where you can really get stuff done, and after the interview King responded to criticism by---to use the political term du jour---evolving:
"I want to maintain my independence as long and as strongly as possible, but I will not do anything to compromise what's in the best interests of Maine. If that means joining a caucus, so be it, but they will not own my vote," he said Friday in a statement.
Yeah, fine. Whatever. Here's all I need to know: will King be more of a Bernie Sanders independent…or more of a Joe Lieberman independent? If the former, I think I'm gonna sign up. If the latter, I think I'm gonna throw up.
JEERS to Today's Stunning Announcement. Yesterday at noon, the local Channel 6 anchor came on and delivered the news:
"What you buy at the grocery can be an indication of your eating habits."
That's especially true if your shopping cart is loaded up with nothing but fava beans and a nice chianti.
Thpthpthpthp!
-
Five years ago in C&J: May 15, 2007
JEERS to southern inhospitality. Senator Lindsay Graham (R-SC)---who last month scored five rugs for five bucks in Iraq (I believe the rug maker is now floating face-down in the Tigris)---made the mistake Sunday of saying that to criticize the escalation is to call our troops "losers." Senator Barbara Boxer then put him in a chokehold and beat his ass until it matched the color of his neck:
"Lindsey, just be careful what you say. The bottom line here is that the losers are the ones who have engineered this war, made a huge mistake. Dick Cheney---'we’re in the last throes,' 'the war will last six months'---and all of you who have supported this escalation and have turned us away from fighting al Qaeda into putting us in the middle of a civil war."
Shorter version: takes one to know one, asshole.
CHEERS to throwing another log on the bonfire at Justice. Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty is resigning for family reasons. Namely, his family is embarrassed that Daddy works for Alberto Gonzales.
-
And just one more…
CHEERS to the closer. No two ways about it: Betty White is America's most trusted endorser. When she says something is good, we all collectively know she means it. So what is the Most Trusted Person On The Planet endorsing now? A second Obama term:
[S]he “very, very much favors” President Barack Obama in the election. The 90-year-old actress said Friday she is very bi-partisan and has stayed away from politics all of her life. She usually never says who she is for or against because she doesn’t want to turn off any of her adoring fans. White says in this year’s election, she likes what Obama has done and “how he represents us.”
Mitt Romney greeted the news calmly and magnanimously. But, just to be safe, Ann went through the house and hid all the scissors.
Have a nice Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Every three hours Bill in Portland Maine shows up in a U.S. emergency room with a battery that’s been swallowed or placed in his mouth, ears or nose.
---NBC News.
-