Skip to main content

Do you ever feel over-exposed? Have you ever felt like you put too much information out into the world about yourself and now you wish you hadn't? Or you recognize at least the potential exists? I'm not talking about from a commercial standpoint -- goodness knows any of us who use the web are tracked and cookied within an inch of our lives. No, I'm talking about from a personal standpoint.

First:

WYFP is our community's Saturday evening gathering to talk about our problems, empathize with one another, and share advice, pootie pictures, favorite adult beverages, and anything else that we think might help. Everyone and all sorts of troubles are welcome. May we find peace and healing here. Won't you please share the joy of WYFP by recommending?
My problem is Daily Kos. No, not quite that. But here's the thing: one of the things I love most about this place is the community. It's a community peopled by all types, tall short thick thin bald and hairy, different gender identities and sexual orientations, ethnicities and ages, occupations, avocations, and economic circumstances.

We laugh and cry together, we rage together, we learn from each other, and we tell our stories with an unusual degree of trust. I cherish that trust.

I came here a little more than a year ago at a time I was deeply disappointed with members of my own family. I'd had really unpleasant interaction with a couple of people on Facebook, leading me to deactivate my account for several weeks. When I went back, I unfriended that whole side of the family (my in-laws), figuring if there was anything I needed to know, I could find out through my husband, jim in IA.

That move helped me feel less exposed on Facebook. Anything I had to say wouldn't be seen by those family members, and wouldn't leave me open to the negative interactions I'd already experienced. Differences of opinion can be upsetting enough, as many of you know. But personal insults that go along with those take it to a whole new level.

Here's an example of one long Facebook Exchange in Our Family.

There have been other Facebook interactions, including a handful recently, that don't provide a prettier view of some of these individuals. In fact, some of those most likely to call themselves Christian behave in the most selfish and vile ways, full of anger and fear and disrespect.

Piling on all that, in Facebook we have a "family group." It includes several of Jim's siblings and their offspring and and kids-n-law. Jim and I, our son and two daughters are members. AND I was shocked to find out this week that Jim's ex-wife is a member, too! Yes, one of Jim's sisters invited her to be a member of the family group, despite the fact that she hasn't been a member of the family for nearly 35 years. UGH.

Last Sunday Jim published this lovely diary, a tribute to his mom and the work load she carried as the mother of nine children. At the bottom of it he said this:

My love and respect goes to Melanie for being the wonderful mother of our children. They are blessed. Thank you for all you do. Happy Mother's Day. oxoxox
He put a link to the diary in the family group on Facebook, and rumor has it that the ex-wife was offended that he didn't recognize her, too, as the mother of two of his children. WTF? Why would he? Even if he'd known she would see it, his message was to me!

So I'm feeling offended and over-exposed on Facebook again, realizing that everything posted in the family group will be seen by her, as well as by actual family members.

So WMFP?

Facebook has its own issues, as described above, and the one that brought me here was the negative family interactions from a year ago. My problem is one of these family members recently has joined Daily Kos. And now my sense of safety here is rattled. Truly I know anyone can come in and look around, read all about us without being a member. I know it was just an illusion of safety before, and that I've already said enough about myself, even posting a photo of myself, I'm identifiable if anyone cared to try.

But now it's official. A family member (not one of those who offended me) is also a dkos member. And I feel nekkid. Over-exposed. There are things I would tell you that I would not tell him. There are things I would share with you that I would not share with him, stories, opinions, complaints, and blessings.

Here's an odd little thing: I bought a bikini. I am 51 years old and have lost a bit of weight over the last couple of years, and I bought a bikini. Silly as it sounds, I was looking forward to sharing a photo of me in a bikini. Sharing that with you.

Now I don't think I can do that. Because now I would feel nekkid. And that's my fucking problem.

So what's your FP? Floor's open!

Poll

Do you ever worry about being too exposed at either Daily Kos or Facebook?

30%18 votes
15%9 votes
20%12 votes
33%20 votes

| 59 votes | Vote | Results

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site