Hi Zuck:
A big thumbs up to you and all your newly minted Facebook millionaires and billionaires. Welcome to the Club! ... now that you’ve been anointed … with full membership and all its exclusive privileges into Club Wall Street, I’d like to invite you into what will be the biggest IPO in history. Yes, this will be bigger …. much bigger than your IPO. We’re not talking measly billions here … we’re talking trillions. You guessed it - the U. S. Inc. IPO is scheduled for my inauguration day 2013. I’ve been working for months with the best and brightest in Club Wall Street to develop the offering circular. ...
Hi Zuck:
A big thumbs up to you and all your newly minted Facebook millionaires and billionaires. Welcome to the Club! Although, the media panned the IPO, saying Facebook didn’t live up to the hype, we know different don’t we? Wink.
Consider the facts. You raised a ton of cash. $13.5 billion is no chump change. Your investors took their money off the table before the stock tanked and everybody on the campus got liquidity. So what if the late comers to the party woke up with a hangover? That’s the way the game is played. You created maximum hype … translated hype into cool cash … I call that textbook execution.
Speaking of the game, now that you’ve been anointed … with full membership and all its exclusive privileges into Club Wall Street, I’d like to invite you into what will be the biggest IPO in history. Yes, this will be bigger …. much bigger than your IPO. We’re not talking measly billions here … we’re talking trillions.
You guessed it - the U. S. Inc. IPO is scheduled for my inauguration day 2013. I’ve been working for months with the best and brightest in Club Wall Street to develop the offering circular. Imagine when the SEC and all the other regulatory bodies are working on our team, instead of "their" team. Imagine when we control the pursestrings of America Inc.
Now that you know how the game works, I’m inviting a select few from Club Wall Street to get pre-IPO shares. We’re talking about a huge opening day pop - not 10 percent, not fifty percent … we’re talking big time pop.... like the kind of pop that came off of the bat of Barry Bonds. It’ll be the Facebook IPO on steroids. Once I’ve rung the opening bell, January 21, 2013, we will literally own America Inc..
Since the IPO is not yet registered with the SEC, we can’t talk about it publicly, and you can’t buy any shares yet. The only way you can reserve your allocation is by making a seven figure contribution to American Crossroads. That’s the Super PAC that, for the record, is entirely “independent” of my campaign. Rest assured American Crossroads is legit. Karl Rove is the mastermind behind the whole scheme. He’s branding the initiative as a “job creator” and make no mistake about it … we’ll be creating jobs for investment bankers like Wall Street has never seen before … Let’s just say this is just the beginning ... a whole new frontier in creative finance. “Let the good times roll ... again.”
Speaking of just the beginning … congrats on your nuptials … the deal was very well executed … like all good deals, it was consummated in private ... away from the clique lights of public scrutiny. You’re a quick study on this stuff. And remember, ... after I’m elected you’ll no longer have to make due with just one wife. After I’ve passed the new Snit Romney Polygamy law by executive order, you can have as many wives as your bank account can finance. – legally. It’s a whole new era in marital status where marriage will be defined a union between one man and his women. Please make checks payable to Snit Romney for President.
Sincerely yours,
Snit Romney (www.SnitRomney.org)
Repugnicant Candidate for President of the Untied States of America