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No dude, it's not about selling your cars, or your BBQ's.   This kind of stuff turns my stomach so bear with me while I pitch a fit.  When I see this....I get sick.  I get mad and I cannot believe what people are thinking.   First check this out..

or this guy who is clueless..

Is this new?  No.  I am just tired of it.  I am going to call out ignorance and greed and disrespect every time I see it.  Do I feel that BBQ's are wrong? No.  Selling cars wrong?
No.  Do I feel like these kind of things are totally disrespectful and continuing not speaking up and calling it out is right.  You  bet I do.
Jump below the squiggly and hear my education to these kind of people who are clueless regarding Memorial Day.    That is where the rant will begin !

So the guys above and every other money grubber Memorial Day Sales Pitcher will be out in full force the week of and the day of, without a clue of respect and honor.

The people with their BBQ and picnics will not have an inkling about what this day is really all about.  It is just a time to have a burnt hot dog, a few too many beers, and if lucky, a paid day off from a job that they are ungrateful they have.   I would bet the farm, they don't visit one veteran, national cemetary, or even watch the laying of the Wreaths or televised honors of our men and women who have paid the ultimate price.
I would venture Memorial Day they will not visit a widow, a Veterans Nursing Home, or even speak to crazy Uncle Joe who is kinda messed up from one of those wars.  I can hear the plans as I type...because I have heard these kind of plans before..
 "Let's not have him over for the BBQ...He is just going to cry or start talking about something that happened long ago and far away and we know nephew Josh did not come back with his marbles or legs so let's just not mention the BBQ.  Trust me .. This kind of thing goes on.

Well the folks who do this may not be as famous as Fred Phelps but every bit as disrespectful in a more subtle way.  For those folks I think they prove who and what they are by their sheer dismissal of why the holiday exists.  

Somewhere there is a young veteran lying in a hospital bed crying on Memorial Day for the pain and guilt he /she is dealing with because they saw their buddy killed.  They are now suffering from Post Traumatic Stress and various other disabilities.  If they are combat vets, they are thinking back to a time when things either 40, 60 or 6 years ago was Hell on Earth.  Someone died. Many someones died.  Some family is dealing with a loss.  Some soldier is sitting far away from home and thinking about these things.  Are all of them?
Most of them.  For families who have lost a family or friend whether recent or decades ago the pain is still real.  The startle reaction is overwhelming.  The sadness is real for that veteran and the family because it touches all.  The day floods the vet with memories they wish in many ways they could forget but feel guilty if they try.  There is no magic pill, not enough booze, not enough love nor not enough of anything to heal these wounds at this time.  See, many of these soldiers need mourning as well because even though they didn't lay down and die physically, many was left thousands of miles from home on a battlfield along with the death and destruction they were part of.  For those who paid the ultimate sacrafice, the families are feeling the pain severely.   There is a little girl or boy who has no Daddy and Memorial Day is to honor that sacrafice.  Some Mother or Father will be  closing their eyes as the bugles blow in rememberance of the fallen who happens to be their child and they still see that fresh faced little boy or girl with their first steps not their last one that stepped on a landmine or hit by an IED.

There are families who do not understand their children, wives, husbands, partners, parents, being in their presence with so much sadness, or physical pain, or sickness, or eyes that show no life or patience, and full of rage and tears and moodiness, and they wonder how they can fix this.  They are dealing with veterans who are self medicating or thinking of ending it all.  They are full of anything but joy and happiness.  They are trying to manage.  The Vet and the military family of the vet.  Both are trying to manage their grief and their circumstance.

The people who are selling and barebecuing  and not paying any respect to what this day means or any thought of it's true impact are either ignorant or just self absorbed but IMO unless they make life a little easier for a widow of the fallen, or honor a fallen soldier or the soldier's family on this day, or thank a veteran, then we might as well call them what they are.  They are uncaring, unpatriotic assholes.  You may not but I sure as hell well.  We have a group on here called IGTNT and we are very respectful and a lot of hard work goes into honoring those soldiers past and present who have fallen.   We do it everyday.

 BBQ's are fine but we should call people out who do not even mention or honor thosethat have paid the ultimate price and educate them on what  this day is all about.  

I had planned to write a diary thanking the generous and wonderful help you patriotic folks gave my vet in the midst of the Memorial Day time with his vet brother dying and he himself in the real clutches of Survival guilt and PTSD along with heart problems.  You folks are my heros.  You reach out every day to Military families.  You are real Americans and real patriots.  You care and you support the troops even if you are like me and do not support the war.  Netroots for the Troops will be meeting in Providence and many of you will be there, not just on Memorial day but there during that time and everytime some military family reaches out.  This diary is my thank you from a military family who thought of us and not some meaningless BBQ or sellathon this Memorial Day.

We may have a small wiener on the grill but my husband will not be outside.  He will be in bed or alone, or in the hospital because he DOES suffer from survival guilt.  EVERYDAY.  Especially on these holidays as many of you vets do.  I wish you peace.
I wish you comfort and I wish you to know there are people who do care and they are right here.  They are putting little flags on graves, and they are holding a covered dish dinner for some widows and vets in a small diner, as I witnessed Monday.

So to all the disrespectful Phelps wantabe's this is the education.   This is what Memorial Day is really all about.  May God have mercy on your selfish, clueless, holiday spirit.  

Have a safe Memorial Day and may God Bless the families and friends of the fallen.

Originally posted to Vetwife on Tue May 22, 2012 at 11:12 PM PDT.

Also republished by DKos Military Veterans, Military Community Members of Daily Kos, and Community Spotlight.

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