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That was the question I asked after 10/31/11. My heart was broken and I just couldn't sit still with my grief. I cried and raged but still it gnawed at me. I walked all over town but I couldn't exercise it away. I went on a furniture shopping binge but changing the apartment didn't fill the emptiness.

The final gambit is buying a house. The worst idea I ever had! I've piled the stress of being a new home buyer on top of the stress and emptiness of losing my little girl. Bad, bad idea. I've been in house hell for 5 months now which is why you haven't seen much of me. First house went down at inspection, second house at appraisal. It looks like I'm finally going to have success at house number three.

I've spent $3525 so far and on Monday (closing day) will spend an addition $5000 or so. They made me resurrect an ancient debt in order to pay it off which meant 3 weeks fighting with the original creditor who had written it off. They finally got me to their debt collector where I was able to pay it off. Three weeks of actually begging these people to let me pay them. Argh! Plus my mortgage originator (jerk of the century!) promised to help me settle for "pennies on the dollar" then backs out when I finally get someone we can pay.

Closing day is Monday and I still haven't received the HUD settlement so heaven only knows what I actually need and I have to try and get a cashiers check and everything in place by 1:00 PM on Monday. Insanity! I can't believe they expect people to be able to plan when they don't give them the information till the day of. I now see why the economy crashed because on top of being greedy bastards these people are the most incompetent and inefficient people I've ever seen. It's amazing. Imagine if we IT people were like that. I wouldn't be typing this right now because Dailykos would be down...shoot the internet would be down!

All of this has resulted in stress beyond belief which has caused massive bouts of depression and you know what the bottom line is? Even a house won't fill the hole my Babycakes left.

Anyone have advice on moving my other three kitty cats on Wednesday? I want to make it as stress free as possible for them. Thanks for listening.

Mon Jun 18, 2012 at 7:35 PM PT: Just an update:
The kitties and I have made the moved and are pretty much settled in. The kitties are handling it better than their human mom who is freaking a little bit over the new responsibilities of home ownership. The babies are fine and thank you for all of your advice!

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