Courtesy of Republican Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas, always working so hard for the Stupidest Member of Congress Award, so coveted among his fellow Republicans, we have a new conspiracy theory. And it's a good one. Forget birthers; here come crashers.
While appearing on a radio program, Gohmert launched into an attack on Attorney General Eric Holder, as well as all members of the Obama administration in general, for being "not honorable, honest people" who are "not the kind of people you want heading up the country." Then, for good measure, Gohmert offered his expert medical opinion on Commerce Secretary John Bryson, who suffered a seizure on Saturday connected to two traffic accidents:
You got Bryson out in California. It's really unusual to have a seizure to cause you to have one wreck and then cause you to put your car in gear and keep going until you have another wreck. That kind of seizure is really unusual. Yet that's who's in charge of keeping businesses going, a guy that crashes his car from car to car.Bryson is now on indefinite medical leave to undergo further testing, but clearly, that's just the cover story, because even though a Breathalyzer test did not show Bryson was under the influence, as Gohmert says, that kind of seizure is really unusual. What kind of seizure was it, you may ask? The unusual kind. Duh.
This alleged unusual kind of seizure makes the whole thing far too fishy for Gohmert, especially because Bryson is singularly responsible for the entire American economy, which is probably news to Bryson. It's probably also news to all the Republicans who've been telling us that it's billionaire job creators, not the government, that keeps businesses going, and besides, it's President Obama who is singularly responsible for the economy. (And boy did he screw it all up, because it was the Most Bestest Economy Evah! up until January 2009.)
We don't know yet the details of what happened to Bryson on Saturday, beyond the fact that he had a seizure, which in Gohmert's mind makes him a real jerkwad because only a jerkwad would go and have a seizure when he's in charge of keeping businesses going. And all of this supports Gohmert's original point that the president, and every single member of his administration, is just downright awful and untrustworthy and un-American and un-honest because blah blah blah Eric Holder unusual seizures blah blah.
Say this for Gohmert: Even when he's leading in the Stupidest Member race, he never ever takes his all-but-assured first place for granted. He's a real overachiever, that one.