Your intrepid diarist has been a little busy, what with getting laid off last week and scrambling to find another job [thanks, Bain...], but that's no excuse to let up on documenting the innumerable flaws of Mitt. Now, Mitt, it's personal.
Here for your edification and entertainment is the next installment of Mitt's many personal and political shortcomings. As always, I encourage you to add your own, whether in poetry or prose (although you will score some extra credit for poetry!). It takes a village to keep up with this sh*t, and I am grateful to you most excellent villagers for keeping on top of this rapidly devolving situation.
A is for absent from campaign events
All those crowds! That gross food! Oh, it’s just too intense!
B for a bus tour, no really! It’s planned
With a bus elevator, it will be quite grand
C is for cash, rolling in every day
With a six-figure minimum for pay to play
D is for donuts, the food poor folks crave
(All those carb-laden people that Bain would enslave)
E is for eating, Mitt would rather not
But what do you expect for a soul-less robot?
F, foreign policy: must he butt in??
That's a vain nominee's unforgiveable sin!
G for the greed that has fueled Mitt's career
Is it devil or angel who speaks in his ear?
H for harassment way back in the day
"Me a bully?" cries Mitt. "It was only horseplay!"
I for impatience; Mitt’s number one trait
Followed quickly by pettiness, meanness, and hate
J is for jealousy; Mitt seems to think
That we envy his wealth; our poor origins stink
K is for Karl of the Rovian clan
Spending Mitt’s donors’ money is Karl’s evil plan
L is for leverage; that’s what you need
When you restructure firms out of malice and greed
M, Massachusetts where e-mails were purged
Wipe them out! Every one! Mittens nervously urged
N, nomination, it’s his after all!
Unless we hear something from pesky Ron Paul
O for obnoxious, Mitt’s sneery disdain
For the working class people (oh, hear Mitt complain!)
P for the PAC, which is Super, you bet!
They’re spending like mad, you ain’t seen nothing yet!
Q is for quiet: Mitt's neighbors have none
'Til his mansion construction is finally done
R for Reince Priebus who’s focused his all
On the race in Wisconsin and not on this Fall
S is for Seamus; in peace may he rest
After Mitt left him frightened, freaked out, and distressed
T, ticking timebombs that no doubt are found
On Mitt's undisclosed tax forms where horrors abound
U, unemployment - Mitt cheered when it rose
Laid of last week, I'd like to punch Mitt in the nose!
V, voter turnout: will it be suppressed
As folks look at Mitt Romney and feel all depressed?
W for Wall Street where Mittens looms large
Heaven help average people if he is in charge
X is for excrement Mitt can't disguise
All his pandering bullsh*t, distortions, and lies
Y is for yellow, a coward's true hue
When it comes to integrity, Mitt has no clue
Z is for zero and also for zip
Not a meaningful word ever falls from Mitt's lip.