Like many here, I truly enjoyed the notion that we could stop right wing billionaires from buying the upcoming election by getting "our" billionaires to pledge to match them dollar for dollar in this diary by Kos. While it might be nice to see the Gateses and Buffettses (Warren and Jimmy) of the world pony up and perhaps see George Soros become the boogie man incarnate by actually donating to Obama (as many commenters noted), there just isn't enough cash on our side of the ledger.
And let's face it. Liberals just don't roll like that. We don't believe in talking points, lockstep voting, or sugar daddies hanging out in the POTUS's pocket--no matter what they're doing there or how much we might agree with them or their money. I know...all ground covered in the voluminous and hilarious comments.
But here's a novel idea: why not just prosecute some actual criminals who actually broke the law stealing billions from the rest of us...and are now shelling forth the billions electing RMoney and other corrupt and evil Republicans?
Wall Street, being mainly composed of greedy self interested narcissists who are your betters and have the leveraged stock portfolio to prove it, saw Obama as the preferable alternative to Grumpy McDrinksalot...uh, John McCain....back in '08. I mean, one of his campaign managers didn't even vote, those guys were so scary. Extreme nutcase Religion and campaign finance reform on one ticket! Lions and Tigers and Bears Oh Noes! The prospect of life with McPain even scared our mighty Wall Street titans...even more than the prospect of (gasp!) regulated banking!
But this is '12 and they have one of their own--a real live inherited wealth vulture capitalist socialize the risk privatize the profit heartless bastard--positioned to step into the world's highest office ready to steal the Social Security Trust fund (otherwise known as The Last Huge Lump Sum of Money Left in the USA), eliminate their taxes completely, repatriate their lonely offshore cash, privatize everything, and turn the US Government into nothing but a giant Corporate Welfare teat (well, even more so than it is today), monstrous unfettered War Machine, and corporate collection agency (aka the IRS). Why did Obama's people evah think they would do otherwise?
Because that's why no one's been prosecuted for the wholesale theft of 90% of the planet's wealth, right? Obama thought Wall Street would back him again. Right? Conventional wisdom? I mean, he didn't really believe he was looking forward, not backward, did he? I would like to think their was at least some enlightened self interest involved in the 2nd largest ignoring of the supremacy of rule of law in US history (after that torture thing).
I was reading the headlines the other day and it turns out, well, Wall Street prefers the vulture capitalist guy. The Empty Suit. Mr. Let Detroit Go Bankrupt. The guy who's here to sell America for scrap and pocket the profit and to hell with the actual people who actually have to live in the hell hole they've created. And Mr. Holder has allowed this by not seeking any prosecutions.....with our illustrious socialist Kenyan POTUS nodding and winking all the way to....DEFEAT this coming November unlike anything we've ever witnessed. Probably the end of Democracy itself. At least the beginning of decades of single party control. However long it takes them to steal everything else and/or for some heads to show up on pikes.
(My plan might be to move back to the west coast and fan the flames of a secessionist movement: California, Oregon, and Washington become Ecotopia! I mean, we're gonna need somewhere to live where the air is breathable, the water isn't full of fracking waste, schools teach, firemen put out fires without running your credit card first, police patrol, public parks exist and get maintained, and the government, you know, governs rather than forcibly probing women's private parts while codifying an extreme right wing religious orthodoxy on us unwilling unwashed masses. End ramble).
So what's stopping the prosecutions now? By all accounts, the cases against vast numbers of the Kings of the Universe could fill the dockets of our federal court system tomorrow if our elected Kings of Government would just grow a few pairs and get to it. Imagine Judge Rakoff's lower Manhattan court bursting with Wall Street criminals, banksters, financial fraud artists...uh financial managers, hedge fund managers. OK....I'm getting a little over excited. I'll be right back. ... Ah, that's better. Had to take a cold shower.
So you say it's hard to get a conviction on these asshats. I agree. Especially after Messrs. Holder and the Kenyan guy let them walk off with all the money four years ago. Lots of time to cover your tracks. But who cares. This is about keeping the too greedy for their own good asshats from giving their spoils to RMoney and buying the upcoming elections. You know, hard testicle, thumb up your butt, punch you in the gut and run away POLITICS. The nasty sh!t we will have to do to avoid the Kochpocolypse.
The nice part is this: Even if those prosecutions failed, it would mean BILLIONS in legal fees going into the pockets of trial lawyers rather than into Gov. Etch-A-Sketch's Super PACs. And for whom do trial lawyers vote? Not the "tort reforming" to keep money out of the trial lawyers hands so they can't give it to Democrats party. So There. Instant transfer of BILLIONS from Republican coffers into those of the Good Guys.
Oh, and we get some really favorable side effects to boot. Like some of these scum sucking pension stealing homeless making whale sh!t at the bottom of the ocean MIGHT GO TO JAIL WHERE THEY BELONG. And (gasp!) rule of law might return to our Ponzi scheme...uh, financial markets...so we could actually have some place to invest our surplus liquidity thereby granting us (you know, the 99.9% of us who don't fit into Zuckerberg, et al's definition of "preferred" investors who are allowed to know this crap has the value of used toilet paper) at least a 50/50 chance of, I don't know, profiting fairly without some turd biting JP Goldman Sucks Citibunghole market manipulating subhuman trashpile from the nether reaches of hell STEALING IT ALL.
And actual functioning non-Ponzi markets might lead to, I don't know, perhaps price discovery on the QUADRILLION DOLLARS of zombie assets sitting off the ledgers of the TBTF Banks (probably keeping all that expatriated cash company), thereby establishing some actual baseline so I can figure out how much my house is actually worth. Oh. And who actually holds my actual paper mortgage so, in the event that they went under, I would know who to stop paying.
Also, just think of the grand distraction of it all! Imagine the Republicans and the talking heads and the living dead and the entire right wing lame stream noise machine shouting 24/7 about prosecutorial over reach and socialist Kenyan communist central government union thug bosses harumff how dare you prosecute the job creators!
And now, here's some news about our marvelous green shoots tanking (by design) economy: [Crickets]. Perhaps even a story or two sneaks through the ether detailing how Republicans and Wall Street Welfare Queens are actually really no f*cking joke intentionally crashing the economy (AGAIN!) so they can blame it on the Kenyan socialist guy and get elected. That's, of course, after they cleanse the voting roles of all those nasty brown skinned illegal alien welfare queen "people" who vote the wrong way.
I almost pee my pants when I think of the show trials. Jamie Dimon in the Freakin Dock instead of having his whatsits licked by congressional Republicans. Pinstriped Goldmann Suchs operatives in orange jumpsuits. The NYPD could spend its time and resources beating up spectators watching the mass perp walks rather than OWS protestors. (OK, it'd be the same people).
The prosecutions and instilled Climate of Fear on Wall Street could even lead to a stock market where people with cash to invest (capital) can find people with ideas that need investment cash (innovators) who make life better and simpler for all of us while employing our neighbors who spend their earnings in our small businesses so we can send our daughters to dance class and our sons to baseball camp thereby employing dance instructors and baseball camp, uh, people. And so on. You know. The Eisenhower through Carter years. Not today's current criminal enterprise Ponzi scheme high stakes casino where pension funds and people's retirement nest eggs go to be stolen by criminals on Wall Street WHO SHOULD BE IN JAIL. Right now. Already.
But I guess the most positive side effect of jailing the criminals who (possibly intentionally) crashed the global economy for their own personal gain might be....that people who went to the wall to support this President (and want to continue to do so) will feel like this President actually does care about our core values like fairness, rule of law, and democracy.
I would say to them if I had a bullhorn wired into their ears: Mr. Kenyan Socialist Guy President of the Intended States of AmeriCo....Mr. Attorney in General....Madame Chairwoman No Money For You Wisconsin.....Senator Who Gives A Flying F#$% about any of us (D-Marshmallow Fluff, inc.)....Wall St. isn't voting for you this time. You will find no checks from the 10005 zip code in your mailbox. They are investing their millions and billions into the Fox News Tea Party™ extremist fringe organized crime ring known as the modern Republican Party.
And you have no one to blame but yourselves. I admire that you tried to make the system work in an honest way. Really. Someone had to see if there was any common ground at all between the parties. There isn't. The other side has lost its collective mind (anger and racism will do that) and finds itself in control of men hellbent on stealing everything for themselves and oppressing everyone else. They are ruthless, lying scheming criminal scum who stole the global economy and robbed us all of a better future. You may be playing 12th dimensional chess, but they just sprayed your board with an Uzi. They aren't playing games. They are playing FOR KEEPS.
Now break out those handcuffs (OK, another cold shower may be in order) and let the show trials begin before you find a horse head in your bed! Victory in 2012!
Oh, and when you're done cleaning up Wall Street, perhaps you could start on those torturers.....