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This is a day that kind of leaves me with no one to dote over.  It's Father's Day.  

My Father passed away nearly 14 years ago, and I'm just about to be divorced from my husband.  So while I hear of many adult women working to give a little more attention to the men in their lives, I sit at home and experience a day just like any other.

Oh, I did send some gifts and greetings to a son, a son-in-law, both of whom are fathers (and very good ones).  I also sent a gift and card to my ex.  

I think that's about the most I can do right now.

So as the sun sets on Father's Day, I tend to get a little jealous of all the attention the men are getting out there today.

Sure, I had Mother's Day a month ago.  My daughter took me out to lunch on the day before, and on my actual day, I sat at home missing calls from three of my children.  I had talked to Son #1 on Saturday night.  Nevertheless, it was a lonely day.  Granted I did see two of my children a week later after I drove to Knoxville to see them.  Granted I did get an I-pad from two sons and some other great food and lotions from my two youngest, I still felt lonely and ignored on Mother's Day.  By Mother's Day, I hadn't received one card.  I did get two cards a few days after Mother's Day, however.

I'm not really saying that my children ignored me on Mother's Day.  They didn't.  Each in his/her own way, remembered me on my day.  Nevertheless, I was lonely on Mother's Day.  Today, my son is taking his dad to a Pro Baseball game.  

Am I being a big baby here?  Am I forgetting the real purpose or reason for a day to honor parents?  Am I putting too much attention on me and not enough attention on the needs and honors due other people?

Some of my children will read this post.  They will think I'm overdoing it.  But I can't deny that I felt very left out and insignificant on my day last month.  And maybe, maybe just alittle, I'm jealous of all the men who are getting lots of attention today from their children.  

Really my Father's Day is a better day than was my own Mother's Day.  I continue to wish my ex-husband a great day at the game.  I wish my son a similar great day at the game.  And to my son-in-law, may he get some rest after a day and weekend of moving my daughter and grandkids to a new and bigger home.

Today I was able to mother my plants and do a few things I had put off for far too long.  I am glad there are fathers in the world, and especially fathers who father 365 days a year.  

Notice that I haven't said too much about my father.  He did what he thought was right for him in his time, but today I still suffer from too many years of neglect and put-downs from my dad back in the 1950s and early 60s.  Many of us women fall into dysfunctional marriages with men much like our fathers so we can at last right the relationships that just didn't go right when we were kids.  But even to my dad whose spirit I hope still circulates in the heavens, thanks for doing the best you could.  After all, that's all one can ask for, right?

So Dads across the USA and even around the world, kiss and hug your kids, no matter how awkward that may feel today.  Your daughters and sons will remember forever.  Really, they will!  

Try it.....and forgive my jealousy for all the attention you're getting today!

Poll

What did you do this Father's Day?

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| 12 votes | Vote | Results

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JKTownsend, Loonesta, jacey, Youffraita

    Making a better world for those who follow us!

    by people power granny on Sun Jun 17, 2012 at 06:29:07 PM PDT

  •  I took my son's two adopted (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Youffraita

    dads out to dinner with/for my son.

    I think I can echo some of your less than conventional responses to Father's Day - it's a day for odd or missing associations for me.

    Words can sometimes, in moments of grace, attain the quality of deeds. --Elie Wiesel

    by a gilas girl on Sun Jun 17, 2012 at 07:28:42 PM PDT

  •  My coworker showed up early (0+ / 0-)

    b/c both her sons were with their dads.  Her older son was born when she was just 15 or so; her younger one when she was married; but she's not with either guy anymore.

    But her sons do maintain relationships with their fathers & fathers' families.  Which I think is excellent.

    The funny thing?  The boys definitely look like brothers because both of them look like her: the family resemblance is unmistakable.  And beyond her, a bit like her mother as well.  And her younger sister.  And their cousins.  Those are some strong genes in that family.

    To make the argument that the media has a left- or right-wing, or a liberal or a conservative bias, is like asking if the problem with Al-Qaeda is do they use too much oil in their hummus. Al Franken

    by Youffraita on Sun Jun 17, 2012 at 11:41:31 PM PDT

  •  Granny..... (0+ / 0-)

    It sounds like you have loving, caring children.  They all remembered you.  Maybe next year, you could do something special for yourself on Mother's Day just to up your enjoyment of the day.

    Lunch out, flowers that you especially like, a movie you've been wanting to see.  Be proactive.....I bet you'll really enjoy your special day even more.  

  •  Another damned holiday (0+ / 0-)

    You shouldn’t feel too envious about Father’s Day.  It’s really Mother’s Day II. A mother likes being at home with her family, getting attention and expressions of love from her husband and children.  But not so much with fathers.  If they had their druthers, they would be hanging around the pool hall or bowling alley with their buddies.  Instead, they know that they must play their domestic role on Father’s Day, just as they do on Mother’s Day.

    It is interesting the way some people, such as yourself, are affected by holidays.  I knew a guy from Europe who was planning on being in America in November, and, since he did not know many people here, he was worried that he might have to spend Thanksgiving alone.  So, even though this is not a European holiday, he was disturbed by the idea of not being a part of it nevertheless.  Whereas to me, it’s just another day.  As I am a bachelor, I sometimes get asked by concerned friends whether I am going to eat Thanksgiving alone.  I tell them, “I’m not going to eat it at all.”  They probably also worry about me on Father’s Day, but I’m usually at the pool hall or bowling alley.

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