Skip to main content

It is a foregone conclusion these days that full marriage equality will happen. Especially since a sitting President has now come out in favor of it.

What I know is that we would never have come this far without you, the straight allies of equality.

I would like to share my personal struggle with all of you. Join me under the orange squiggle of fab and I will tell you why it means so much to me personally.

Once upon a time I was a young, bright eyed, feminist lesbian, who thought I could change the world. Then like many of my straight counterparts, I fell in love, and sank into blissful domesticity. As the years with my love passed, it became clear that she had issues, and eventually we learned that she was bi-polar. I won't recount the struggles of living with someone with that condition, I will just say that she suffered far more than I did. One of the symptoms of her illness was uncontrollable spending. I could never save money because she would always spend it. Eventually I had to quit work to care for her and we barely scraped by on her social security. For this reason we never were able to complete the legal documents necessary to protect each other in case of death.

Well it doesn't take a genius to see what could happen. Yes, she died (after 20 years together) and I lost the property, house, cars, etc.etc.etc. that we had worked for and acquired together. Worse, our daughter also lost it. Because she was not the "blood" of my partner she had no legal claim.

I recount this, not to garner sympathy. My life is wonderful and I am blessed beyond any imaginings I could have had back then. I recount it, because as all of you know, public policy has personal implications. They effect real people and real people's lives. I am just one of many hundreds of thousands, if not more, who can tell this sad story.

I never imagined, back then, that marriage would ever come to be a real possibility for me. I was used to living on the fringe, never being a real member of society. I never imagined that anyone but my gay and lesbian counterparts would come to understand the struggle, the fear, the uncertainty, the basic unfairness of it. Or even care. After all, it doesn't affect you personally. Even straights with gay family members back then, didn't get it. They mostly loved their gay family members and prayed for them. Well prayer is ok, but understanding and taking up the drumbeat of equality is better. Much, much better.

A friend told me today that I am a stepping stone for the next generation, and I am proud to join all the countless stepping stones that have gone before me. But we couldn't do it without you. So thank you. Thank you for caring about a fight that doesn't have to be your fight. Thank you for marching with us, for voting with us, for being our allies in what seemed a few short years ago like an impossibility.

Thank you.

Originally posted to azrefugee on Wed Jun 20, 2012 at 09:07 AM PDT.

Also republished by Community Spotlight.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Meteor Blades, a gilas girl, colleen, Angie in WA State, jotter, SaveDemocracy, LuvSet, WI Deadhead, SallyCat, expatjourno, cardinal, Ian S, stevej, mkfarkus, chimpy, Frederick Clarkson, Boris Godunov, EntrWriter, Moody Loner, HeyMikey, harrije, outragedinSF, FlyingToaster, Noisy Democrat, tomjones, Josiah Bartlett, historys mysteries, v2aggie2, gerard w, PSzymeczek, SaraBeth, Sun Tzu, Gordon20024, ivorybill, Ginny in CO, Ekaterin, Uthaclena, Jennifer Clare, WB Reeves, Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse, vigilant meerkat, dharmafarmer, tonyahky, seefleur, kestrel9000, Audri, Lefty Coaster, blueoasis, bubbanomics, NearlyNormal, Baba Bluesman, Pandoras Box, Thinking Fella, tegrat, gloriana, EdSF, Matt Z, Dave in Northridge, sfbob, davehouck, bnasley, puzzled, Transactivist, Killer of Sacred Cows, gaardvark, cloudbustingkid, MichiganGirl, TomP, gizmo59, Spiffarino, rmonroe, jgilhousen, Dem in the heart of Texas, adrianrf, mconvente, Lasgalen Lothir, ferment, bill warnick, bythesea, smrichmond, lineatus, Cassandra Waites, petulans, Parthenia, Mike Taylor, WearyIdealist, lissablack, CA coastsider, JBL55, legendmn, bluebelle7, Rick Aucoin, jarbyus, The Dead Man, cantelow, Carol in San Antonio, JesseCW, bfitzinAR, MooseHB, jpmassar, Larsstephens, Lefty Ladig, BlueOak, commonmass, Susan Grigsby, Lost and Found, Simple, Eddie L, gulfgal98, pixxer, anonevent, DaveinBremerton, tronman5000, slowbutsure, Hopeful Skeptic, cooper888, Hatrax, skip945, barflyer, Cinnamon, tardis10, Fire bad tree pretty, Miggles, Apost8, Only Needs a Beat, LandruBek, MNGrandma, GenXangster, Mindful Nature, teachered, We Won, IndieGuy, ahumbleopinion, tb92, The Nephew, FloridaSNMOM, This old man, mapamp, peachcreek, scarolinamom, Syoho, MRobDC, radical simplicity, ItsaMathJoke, wasatch, Robynhood too, Australian2, Hammerhand, maineprogressiveswarehouse, GoGoGoEverton, Blue Bell Bookworm, nomandates, koosah, The grouch, glorificus, dear occupant, weck, Southcoast Luna, patchmo13, Icicle68, rigcath, pragmaticidealist

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site