This was just delivered to the secret headquarters of the Tea Party, somewhere deep under Boston Harbor. And leaked!
When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one Supreme Court Justice to declare himself God, common sense dictates that the other Justices who made this ridiculous decision and the entire political system which supports it be cast down from the mountain and ridiculed.See comments for real updates on decision
We all know that slaves in the Antebellum South did not have the right to health care. We all know that states in which slavery is legal (which should have been all states, because what right does a state have to ban the sale of one human to another?) would not have ratified the Constitution had their slaves been required to have health insurance. Therefore the Supreme Court usurps the rights of slaveowners and the sovereign states to which they belong by upholding the PPACA.(1)
Further, the affirmation of the PPACA is an affront to our Founding Fathers, who were happy to die of cholera, tuberculosis and other classical diseases.
I dissent (2).
And I secede. And now you must obey me. Bwahahahahahaha!!!
-- Antonin Scalia. God Emperor of All. "The spice must flow, as long as the border is secure."
Some justices have claimed that there are no longer any slaveowners. This is patently false, as there are books which clearly note that slaveowners existed two hundred years ago, and nothing -- NOTHING -- has changed since that time.
I would cite precedential cases in support of my dissent, but I have disavowed all my previous decisions, and I hereby proclaim precedent a thing of the past.