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Governor Martin O'Malley, (D Maryland) joked that his Republican colleagues in the red states across the country are probably thinking of seceding from the Union in response to yesterday's Supreme Court ruling on healthcare.

I realize that Governor O'Malley was attempting to inject a little levity into a sticky situation, but I feel that I must say to the Governor, show a little restraint sir, this is no joking matter!!! It's not fair to get a girl's hopes up and then say "just kidding".

I know I join quite a few other people who live in, how shall I put it, oh yeah, the saner states, in wondering why we care so much about keeping the Union together. Clearly the red states believe the rest of us are freedom-hating, abortion-loving, anti-religion, Europe-worshipping, Constitution-bashing, immigrant-enabling, Communist elitists, with whom they no longer wish to be associated. I say, give them what they want and set them free. I would certainly be much happier if I never had to listen to Texas Congressman, Louie Gohmert make another speech from the floor of the House.

Think of what it would mean to never have to worry about senators from states like Oklahoma, Mississippi, Texas, Alabama, Kansas or Georgia filibustering raising the minimum wage or extending unemployment. Imagine public discourse that actually contained facts and knowledge. And just look at all the money we'd save not having to provide federal assistance to these states that consistently suffer natural disasters and tend to be more impovershed. When you think about it, it seems almost cruel to ask them to take funding from a government they despise.

I suppose some would argue that women, senior citizens, children and the poor who live in the states that secede would all be in dire straits if they were to be cut off from the part of the Union that actually has feelings and a conscience. It's a dilemna I admit, but perhaps we can work out some kind of immigrant exchange program. We'll take your needy if you take our right-wing conservative nut jobs.

It's time that the red states got to live their version of the American dream: no taxes, no restrictions on fire-arms, no sex education in schools or access to abortion, no regulations in the work place, on air, water or food, religious prayer everywhere you look, fetal and corporate personhood, the privitization of schools, prisons and parks, the elimination of aid to education, arts and science and best of all, their own national Global Warming is a Myth Museum.

I get that we once fought a Civil War to keep our nation whole, but I think we can all agree, the experiment that resulted simply isn't working. The only thing we now have binding us together is our shared sense of impotent rage at the other side. The Republican primary alone should be enough to convince the country that we not only need to let the red states secede, we should be encouraging them to do it. They can set up their Capitol at the Alamo, draft their own Constitution as envisioned by Michelle Bachman and Sarah Palin and make FOX News their official government media outlet.

We can go to the beach on Maui, listen to Bruce Springsteen and the Dixie Chicks on our Ipods, and pretend that the Tea Party was an LSD induced hallucination. It's a win-win for everybody.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Every one of these states is a welfare Queen. (10+ / 0-)

    Do what Clinton did. Whip out a little welfare reform on them.

    I used to be Snow White. And then I drifted. - Mae West

    by CherryTheTart on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 05:01:33 PM PDT

  •  Rewrite (6+ / 0-)

    for the Constitution. I agree. If all the blue states voted to allow the secession of the red states, it could happen (it didn't work out so well last time, because no one agreed to let it happen).

    Create the confederate states of amurcia and let Romney lead them, while the United States of America provides the stuff provided for in the Constitution. Give everyone 90 days to choose where they want to live (blues and reds can exchange homes) and then, we shall be free to provide for those less fortunate than the 1%.

    I reject your reality and substitute my own - Adam Savage

    by woolibaar on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 05:05:42 PM PDT

  •  I wouldn't let them secede unilaterally (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    jessical

    And I would support a shooting war to prevent them from leaving.

  •  heh (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    cassandracarolina, Catte Nappe

    this is not likely to go well.  There have been many essays from residents of these fine states pointing out that it is all America.  And per site guidelines and my own inclination against creating hells on earth, I have to kind of (reluctantly) agree with them.

    ..."until wealth piled by the bondsman's two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword"...too bad the sword wasn't enough.  Civil wars and their outcomes shape hundreds of years that follow.  Sometimes longer.  

    ...j'ai découvert que tout le malheur des hommes vient d'une seule chose, qui est de ne savoir pas demeurer en repos dans une chambre.

    by jessical on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 05:11:54 PM PDT

  •  we'll accept refugees as to not leave behind our (3+ / 0-)

    folks in these places. Or we'll at least give you a path to citizenship if it's going to take you a little longer...

  •  Gotta say 'Thanks' (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    jessical

    I'm from Alaska, and there are a lot a freaks up here - but they don't speak for all Alaskans.  We actually have reasonable Rebubs (not our national ones, but the local ones - we even have a bipartisan group in the Senate).

    But if you don't want us, we'll be happy to leave.  We don't need you any more than you need us. Have a happy life.

    Democracy, if done properly, is rude, messy, and loud

    by allensl on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 05:14:14 PM PDT

    •  I used to live in Alaska and I agree (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      jessical

      I used to live in Alaska and I pretty much agree with what you say.  I was there when Wally stole the 1990 governor's race from Arlis Sturgilewski (did I spell her name right??).  She would have made a wonderfull governor!

  •  What a simplistic load. (9+ / 0-)

    There aren't many to the left of me, but I reside in one of those reddish states that left once and that you want to leave again. Bull shit. While I didn't have a choice the first time I moved here (I was ten), I didn't have much more of a choice when I returned as I had an 80 year old mother (now 93) to look after who had been here for nearly half a century.

    Yes, I'm aggravated being surrounded by a lot of red votes. Yes, I'm frustrated to have a red simpleton as a representative to Congress. Yes, I'm frustrated to have a fine Democratic Senator who's virtually canceled out by a teabag senator. And our governor? Oh, the pain.

    Anyway, while we (libs) are actually a majority here, because of past shortcomings in elections during census years, we've suffered at least three rounds of redistricting which makes it difficult to get liberal majorities in our legislature. Our only saving grace is a left-of-center court system that does a pretty good job of keeping the chickens safe.

    That all said, I'm here because I've spent more than 30 years here (too damn near half my life for me to be comfortable about), and I'm not content to be thrown out of the union or the state, nor am I on board with the necessity of relocating because someone has the cockamamie idea that if "we" don't like it, "we" should leave. I get quite enough of that from people wearing buckled knickers and antique hats.

    On the odd chance this diary was snark, please ignore my angry tone above and add the appropriate tag to the diary—then I'll do an Emily Litella.

  •  Listen (13+ / 0-)

    I am one of the sane people stuck in one of those crazy red states.  I'll even agree, that if my crazy ass state decided to secede...I sure as hell don't want a civil war to keep it together.

    On the other hand...wishing for all the red states to secede is another matter.

    Just remember this.  In Oklahoma--the reddest state in the nation--34.4% of the folks voted for Obama in 2008.  What you are doing right now is simply throwing those folks to the wolves.

    Seriously, we red state progressives are fighting the fight, while many of our blue state friends portray us as a bunch of redneck, gun-toting, free republic using yobs.

    So...sure, mock the assholes down here. but please remember this...my favorite progressives come from Texas, Oklahoma, Alabama, Arizona and the like.  My least favorite progressives are from the Bay Area.  The reason is simple...we progressives in the Red States know how to fight, and we keep on fighting even when we lose.  Its easy to be a progressive in a blue state, and its damn easy to feel superior.  But it sure doesn't make you superior, just lucky to be with so many people who agree with you all the time..

    "Empty vessels make the loudest sound, they have the least wit and are the greatest blabbers" Plato

    by Empty Vessel on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 05:23:58 PM PDT

  •  I'd rather sell them the Southeast (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Irixsh, jessical

    I'd rather sell them the Southeast.  Let them pay us to buy South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi from the US.  We would use the purchase price to pay to move anyone who didn't want to stay there out to the Real America.

    •  But it's all real America (0+ / 0-)

      It all has our blood on it.  And the words of Faulkner, Harper Lee, Flannery O'Connor, Dorothy Allison.  And those 250 years of bondsman's toil.  

      It isn't like every freed man and woman came north.  Do you sacrifice 600,00 lives, that a people can be free, to turn your back on their children utterly?  

      Its funny, I emotionally agree with the diarist, but it wasn't until I read the words "real america" in your comment that I realized I was being callow.  I really don't think the current show is tenable, and we'll likely pay for that.  But praticalities aside...this is a bad idea.

      ...j'ai découvert que tout le malheur des hommes vient d'une seule chose, qui est de ne savoir pas demeurer en repos dans une chambre.

      by jessical on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 05:58:16 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  try this instead and they might learn something: (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    jessical, Irixsh, MKSinSA, PSzymeczek

    This exercise is called "doing the experiment," which isn't quite the same thing as "prescribing the symptom" but comes close:

    1)  Obama announces that ONE state will be allowed to cut almost all of its ties for ten years.

    2)  The terms & conditions will be:

    = This is not secession.
    = The residents of the state still have to pay federal taxes.
    = However, 100% of their federal tax monies will be returned to their state (no more, and no less).
    = They will be free of all other federal laws and regulations for the duration of the experiment, with the following exceptions:
    = They will not be allowed to impose externalized costs upon neighboring states or upon the United States as a whole.
    = They will be obligated to maintain existing telecommunications and transportation interconnections.
    = They will not be allowed to restrict in any way the ability of residents of their state from communicating with any & all other persons in the United States, nor allow any private entity within their boundaries to do so ("anti-cult / anti-slavery" provision).
    = They will not be allowed to restrict in any way the ability of residents of their state to leave their state, nor allow any private entity within their boundaries to do so ("anti-cult, anti-slavery" provision).  
    = They will not be allowed to restrict voting rights in any manner that is contrary to federal legislation.
    = They will not be allowed to alter or abridge any right or entitlement of children that is presently guaranteed under federal law.    

    3)  The state that shall be awarded this status, shall be the one that has the highest majority of popular vote approving it by referendum.  Make them compete for it.  

    4)  This status may be rescinded prior to ten years upon a majority vote of the state's eligible voters, in a referendum that will run each year for the duration.  

    ---

    Know what's going to happen?

    The batshit-craziest state is going to get to do the experiment.

    The first thing they will discover is that they were getting far more in federal tax revenues than they were paying, because the excess revenue they used to get will stop.  "You're on your own!"

    The second thing they will discover is that their Ayn Randian utopia will be revealed very quickly as the nightmare it is.

    The third thing they will discover is that the costs of cleaning up externalities are higher than they could have imagined (e.g. not letting their CO2 emissions from coal blow across state lines).  

    And the fourth thing they will discover is that their very own citizens will vote overwhelmingly to end the experiment by the half-way point at latest.

    Methinks this deserves a diary.

    "Minus two votes for the Democrat" equals "plus one vote for the Republican." Arithmetic doesn't care about your feelings.

    by G2geek on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 05:34:09 PM PDT

    •  well (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      MKSinSA, Killer of Sacred Cows

      ...there are international norms for how you let groups let themselves out of a larger federal system.  You can't just let them out for 10 years.  You have to really let them go, with some hope they won't just go create a human rights wasteland.  But if they do...they still aren't part of the original country.  And even if they vote to come back, they might not be welcome back.

      I think there are probably some very good reasons not to have countries with 300 million to 400 million residents.  The structures that accumulate wealth get demigod level wealth into the hands of a few, and life as a poor resident turns to shit.  Its happening to us now.  

      Unfortunately, the brand is not easy to escape :}  Quebec has been pondering it for some time!  The cost of diplomatic and trade externalities alone are daunting.  The systems used to finance great universities would be in tatters.  A lot of people would be really poor for a long time.  

      ...j'ai découvert que tout le malheur des hommes vient d'une seule chose, qui est de ne savoir pas demeurer en repos dans une chambre.

      by jessical on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 05:49:34 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  diary posted! (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      MKSinSA, jessical

      "Minus two votes for the Democrat" equals "plus one vote for the Republican." Arithmetic doesn't care about your feelings.

      by G2geek on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 05:53:00 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  An interesting concept... n/t (0+ / 0-)

      The way to combat noxious ideas is with other ideas. The way to combat falsehoods is with truth. - William O. Douglas

      by PSzymeczek on Sat Jun 30, 2012 at 11:32:42 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  If you are all going to vote for the red states (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    jessical, Irixsh, Gooserock

    to succeed, someone better be planning to help us move to a warm blue climate. I can't live up north unfortunately, even with healthcare I'd spend more time in the hospital than out of it and so would my daughter. So I guess I'd be moving to California, despite my earth quake phobia. But we have no money so... I don't know how we'd be getting across the country, find a place to live in a higher priced area and manage to survive.

    "Madness! Total and complete madness! This never would've happened if the humans hadn't started fighting one another!" Londo Mollari

    by FloridaSNMOM on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 05:34:49 PM PDT

  •  "We'll take your needy if you take (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    MKSinSA, Gooserock, a2nite

    our right-wing conservative nut jobs."

    Best quote ever!

    Threats to secede are just that- threats.  Like a temper tantrumer holding his breath until he gets his own way.  

    Eventually he's gonna breathe.

    Growing old is inevitable...Growing up is purely optional

    by grannycarol on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 05:41:39 PM PDT

  •  Oh, cool (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    jan4insight, cassandracarolina

    This time the "war between the states" will be initiated by the liberal progressives.  What are you thinking/drinking/smoking?

    from a bright young conservative: “I’m watching my first GOP debate…and WE SOUND LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE!!!!”

    by Catte Nappe on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 05:51:11 PM PDT

  •  The Pentagon Would Never Allow It (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    opinionated

    no matter how much support it had.

    But it's no good snarking at Republicans, we can't exaggerate beyond what at least some on that side wish they could do or cut. And they've already proven they will accept any damage to the country in order to establish their type of rule.

    We are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for victims of our nation and for those it calls enemy.... --ML King "Beyond Vietnam"

    by Gooserock on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 06:00:11 PM PDT

  •  I'll point out (0+ / 0-)

    that just a couple of minutes ago,I saw an ad on this site inviting me to join the revolution against Obamacare, complete with a picture of a guy with a gun. They really are considering it and I expect if the lose in November, there will be some of them who will try,

  •  I live in one of those states and I'd (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    dalfireplug

    really like to keep my American citizenship. My daughter lives in a red state too. It's just the way things worked out for this retired military family.

    We'd have to refugee if secession were to happen which is pretty tough on old folks.

    "The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?" ~Orwell, "1984"

    by Lily O Lady on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 07:01:40 PM PDT

  •  It might just be easier to sponsor a "No State (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    sweetsister, opinionated

    Free-Loader" Bill.  The crux of the bill would be a provision that States may not receive more federal funding than they pay into the national coffers.  Use Winger talking points to support passage; the average right-wing voter is certainly conditioned to embrace them.  I would love to see Red State politicians choke on their own verbal/ideological feces.

    In a more serious "vein"...I am tired of using federal tax dollars in Red States to deal with the consequences of state policies that push low taxes, a weak public education system, anti-government regulation, race-to-the-bottom employment practices/wages, and carte blanche corporate policies.

    It's high time Progressives went on the offensive!

    Robber Baron "ReTHUGisms": John D. Rockefeller -"The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets"; Jay Gould -"I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half."

    by ranton on Fri Jun 29, 2012 at 09:17:45 PM PDT

  •  Hell yeah. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    METAL TREK, flavor411

    Of course, let/help people who want to join America move out of the crappy states (for some of you stuck in Red States above).  I get that some people can't move for a variety of reasons, and those people should be rescued from the shitholes they are forced to live in. I know - I was forced to live in a shitty state for awhile.

    And then after the modern, forward-thinking humans are rescued, let the backwards states secede and form Jesusland.

    Do you know how fucking sick I am of some Jesus-humpin' hillbilly politicians from some bumblefuck crappy state using their national-policy-affecting Congresspeople and Senators to attack me, when I live in a 21st century reality?

    I don't need a humanoid-shaped bag of feces like Jeff Sessions from heeeeee-yuck Alabama having any say in anything that affects me. Inbred little troll.

    Intelligent people in places like Alabama: you have my sympathies, and we promise we'll rescue you.

  •  Don't worry. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    flavor411

    The Republican Party is extincting itself.  Kos has written several good diaries about the subject.

    Right now it seems like we've got some crazy other-race of humans living among us.  But they will have to change, or they will die off.

    It's just going to take time.

    “Be the change you want to see in the world.” -- Gandhi

  •  Montana (0+ / 0-)

    Obama only lost Montana by 11,723 votes in 2008.

    Can't we get 20,000 of you Californians to move there?

    :-)

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