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The room is a total wreck (of course). My clothes were washed and folded before I came home--I put them away straight from my suitcase. I'm overtired, overextended, overheated, and I just wish the past month had happened differently.

Tomorrow I find out if things will start to get back to normal.

Both my spouse and I have PTSD, for different reasons. Hers are military related. Due to past experience, when she is triggered, she is not allowed to drive (she has tried to commit suicide by car before). If she needs to get away, that's fine, there are miles of trails around, she can go for a walk or run easily and safely. The keys MUST stay here. I've seen too many of her suicide attempts to budge on this matter, and that triggered me.

A neighbor misinterpreted the situation, and called the police. Sarah was given a modified no-contact order (meaning we were allowed to communicate), and I went to stay with friends, since I'm the one with friends in the area. Off to New Hampshire I went, and did much crafting, learned a few things I've been trying to get lessons in for years (spinning!), and even went to an SCA event.

Today I took the DownEaster back to Saco, and picked up the car (since we only have one). I headed up to Portland to a Kos meetup, and was delighted to see some old friends and meet new ones. Thanks, all, I needed that!

Sarah sank deeper this past month. She's really not doing well. She needs someone to balance her, and there was no one for her. Right now she's at a (very expensive) campground that's walking distance to her work, while I'm gearing up to go to a hearing at 8 in the morning (2 July 2012) that will hopefully lift the no-contact order. But she's working into a suicidal phase of her PTSD, the first one in over a year. I'm worried.

And if the order isn't lifted, I don't know what we'll do. The people I was staying with are great, really adopted family, but one of them lost their job literally the day after I moved in, and we were all feeling the strain of 'the extra house-guest', even if I did pull my weight. It doesn't help that I'm titrating a new medication. Maybe if they'd had an extra bedroom... If we had another car, I could go to one of the inexpensive campgrounds and stay there, and our rent would go down, since only one of us would be here, officially! And then we could survive. But we can't afford that as it is.

We NEED this no-contact order lifted. Then we can get mental health counseling set up (yay insurance starting up!), and I can do what I can.

It's sad when growing up with PTSD can be an asset, eh?

Mon Jul 02, 2012 at 8:01 AM PT: Thanks, everyone. So far, it seems to have gone smoothly.

I spoke with Sarah's attourny, who told me she planned to ask the DA if they could not just modify the bail agreement, but to put the whole thing to bed. Unfortunately, that didn't happen, but the DA had no problem with lifting the no-contact order. The judge had no problem with it, either.

However, Maine is odd. They've privatized parts of the system (relevantly here, the bail system). The judge could not order the bail conditions changed. What he could do was sign a joint statement from the attourny and the DA stating that all were in agreement that a no-contact order was unneccessary. That has been done, and is being brought to the private company that handles such things.

Hopefully it will be processed by the end of the day. The DA told me that if it isn't done by Wednesday, to call him and he'll light some fires.

I also had a talk with the DA and the Victim's Advocate. They understand that this is more of a mental health issue than anything else, and they are not pursuing this for a conviction, but more to ensure treatment and give her some of the structure she used to have with the military. (It seems they've dealt with military-based PTSD before.) If there are conditions that I feel will be helpful, they will be added.

And now I'm off to try to get some therapists for us! :) Of course, that's all online, so I'll be checking back in every few minutes. :p

Mon Jul 02, 2012 at 4:03 PM PT: Well, good news and bad.

The good news is that Sarah has counseling set up starting this week. This is awesome and good.

The bad news is--privatization of government services. It is now past business hours, and we have not heard back about the changing of the contact order (despite the agreement of the DA and judge). I have the car, because we were told it was very important for me to show up this morning. Sarah works until the wee sma's, and after that...

And if she breaks the agreement before it's officially changed, not only will she be jailed, we will owe a private business I don't know how much money. >< Yes, despite the judge having already signed off on it.

I'm crossing my fingers for tomorrow.

Originally posted to Lorelei who now lives in Maine on Sun Jul 01, 2012 at 07:03 PM PDT.

Also republished by House of LIGHTS.

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