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Another day, another reassuring interview with the Sons of Mitt.

The Romney brothers could soon become America’s first sons.  Ranging in age from 31 to 42, their names are Craig, Ben, Josh, Matt, and Tagg – but you may have seen them spoofed on Saturday Night Live as Taggart, Tanner, Tigit, Targalac, and Tic-Tac.  

Which one of them is the biggest mama’s boy?  NBC’s Peter Alexander found out during an interview for an upcoming Rock Center story airing Thursday, July 19 at 10pm/9c.

Just like any group of brothers, they like to pick on each other, even during their first sit-down interview of the 2012 campaign.  They say Josh, the middle son, is the mama’s boy.

“Thanks guys. Let’s take it easy here,” replied Josh, one of three Romney sons who works in real estate.  Another son is a doctor.  The eldest runs a private equity firm like their father once did.


With $10 million in seed money and Mitt’s Rolodex to work off of, this was not exactly and entrepreneurial coup. In the past few weeks, I've learned a bit about being an entrepreneur myself, courtesy of Bain & Co.'s brilliant management consulting advice to my now-former employer. Company underperforming (after our previous brilliant advice)? Throw a few thousand people into the volcano! Works every time!

Although I haven't been able to approach my living-on-a-fixed-income Mom for a $10 million start-up loan, I have managed to start and incorporate my own business, building on my hard work and personal connections and loose change between the cushions of my couch. But... I digress. Just wanted to say: "thanks, Bain. You've turned me into a job creator."

Follow along below the wealth gap for the Rest Of The Story...

They are all married and have a combined total of 18 children.  If Romney wins, he’ll have more grandkids than any sitting president in U.S. history.

Given his family history, Mitt probably has more grandmas than an assisted living center. With all of that, though, he doesn’t care much for his ancestors. Nope. Mitt is a self-made man. His father and grandfather were nice enough guys, but from Mitt’s perspective, they were utter failures. He, on the other hand, sits atop a dynasty and has amassed enough wealth to shield generations of descendants from the horrors of poverty or Working for Others.
The Romney sons grew up in Belmont, Mass., an affluent suburb outside of Boston.  All of the brothers attended the same private school and later the same college, Brigham Young University.  Three of them went on and received their MBA’s from Harvard, just like their father.
OK, now this is just getting a little too creepy. I know that Massachusetts has been at the forefront of biotechnology, and maybe that includes human cloning, but seriously. Did they all marry women with Freon in their veins? Do they all sing off key? Do they all own Irish Setters and drive around with them on the roof? Most importantly, do they all engage in retroactive reinvention? How about posthumous baptism?
The boys were raised in a Mormon household where Saturdays were devoted to service.  And all five followed their father’s footsteps by going overseas on two-year missions to spread their Mormon beliefs.

They are campaign veterans, on the trail stumping for their father since he first ran for Senate 18 years ago.  But when it came to Romney’s second run for the White House, four of his five boys didn’t want him to run.

So, 80% of your offspring say “Don’t run!”, and they know you far better than we know you. Mitt, I’m starting to see a very disturbing pattern emerging among your family, your supporters, your surrogates, and the pundits that are supposed to be “on your side”.  They’re all running as fast as their little legs can carry them to get as far away as possible for your pending implosion. Darwin would be very supportive of this strategy.

“I didn’t want him to run again.  I really didn’t,” Matt said, “I thought you know, you gave it your best shot in 2008, you felt like you had to do it, you had to go and give back to the country and you tried, and they didn’t take you, so let’s move on.”  

Smart boy, that Matt. I guess he wasn’t paying attention, though, when Mitt and Ann crafted their “it’s our turn” speech.  All the previous times, it must have been someone else’s turn. Sometimes it's hard to tell without the benefit of retroactive re-evaluation.

Matt and the others eventually came around.  And again the Romney 5 have joined in Mitt Romney’s march to the White House.
Mitt has that effect on his family members. Sure, one or two of them spoke up in horror when they saw dear old Dad strapping poor Seamus into that crate onto the roof of the car, but they all “eventually came around”. You probably don't want to be talking back to Mitt. He's spent most of his life surrounded by people whose response to any question or assignment is "yes, sir... right away, sir!"
Along the way, they have heard about how their father has struggled at times to connect with the public.  The campaign hopes the sons can help explain some of their father’s more idiosyncratic moments, for example, when Romney told an audience, “It just feels good being back in Michigan.  You know, the trees are the right height.”

“He’s a little goofy,” said Tagg, “That’s part of his charm, I think.”

Yeah, charm. That’s the word I was looking for. A guy who insults people who bring bakery cookies to a campaign stop or wear plastic ponchos in the rain at NASCAR… who wouldn’t be won over by that charm?
But the biggest criticism is that the wealthy Romney family can’t understand the economic challenges facing the average American family.  The sons insist their family and their father are not out of touch.

“We've obviously been very blessed,” Craig said, “And because of that we feel a responsibility to make sure we can do everything we can to make this country as great as it can be.”

I think that this last quote was truncated in the interview. The rest of it should have said:

                      “…for others in our economic bracket”

They say they are not put off by the accusations, even within the Republican Party, that their father is aloof and a flip-flopper.  

“His true identity will come out and we know what a great father he is, we know how much he loves the country, we know how much he loves our kids,” Matt said, “It’s not ambition that’s driving him.  It is really a desire to give back, and this is how he thinks he can give back.  And we agree.”

Hey, kids - since you've got a better chance of getting through to your dad than I do, please do me a favor and pass along this little idea:

Mitt wouldn't have to "give back" nearly as much if hadn't already taken away so much. Maybe his "giving back tour" could begin by working his Bain contacts to find jobs for the thousands of people that were laid off in Mitt's quest for limitless wealth.

Think of it: you could beat Obama at his own "insourcing" game! Cut him off at the pass! Right before the election, you hold a bunch of press conferences at the factories where these folks are now magically rehired (at good union wages, please!) Think of the publicity! No more "out of touch" Mitt; now he's the hero of the middle class!

It's just another fun retroactive summertime thing you kids could do to help your dad. If you're even half serious about seeing him win, that is...

Originally posted to cassandracarolina's fossil record on Tue Jul 17, 2012 at 12:48 PM PDT.

Also republished by Community Spotlight.


The reason the Mittkids didn't want him to run is...

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