Skip to main content

In 2002, Mitt Romney retroactively resigned from Bain Capital in 1999. Ten years later in 2012 the Democrats stole the Republican retroactive time machine and traveled back to 1993 to create the Batman villain “Bane,” to affect the 2012 election. It’s so obvious (to me). Bane = Bain. QED.

Then the Democrats said “Hellllllp me, Mister Wizard” and the wizard said, “Twizzle Twazzle Twozzle Twome, Time for this one to come home.”

Softserve wrote this diary (go recommend it): Rush Limbaugh: Batman movie has Bane in it, it must be a reference to Bain!.

You’d be surprised at what I discovered. I’ll explain under the orange ampersand of julius.

Please don’t hide-rate me for being a time-travel conspiracy theorist. I’m just asking some questions and posing some possible answers. Can’t a paranoid guy just ask a question or ten? How can we find the truth unless someone poses anonymous questions hidden behind a pseudonym on a political blog?

I’m ready to reveal the results of my research to the world. Rush is right. And I believe the other Batman movie villains secretly represent other people. Consider the following:

The Joker – obviously a smoker and a midnight toker who gets his lovin’ on the run. Some people call him Maurice because he speaks of the pompatus of love. The people who make dictionaries have conspired to cover up the meaning of the word “pompatus.” What are they hiding? I’m just sayin’.

Catwoman – represents the wife of William Shakespeare, Anne Hathaway. All experts agree that this fact is undeniable. If you don’t believe me, you can Google it. Because it’s your job to figure out WTF I’m talking about.

The Penguin –a reference to a guy in a tuxedo, but who? Fred Astaire, maybe? A guy who, by the way, did everything Ginger Rogers did, but facing forward and in regular shoes. A lot of people don’t know that Astaire was killed by Communist Nazi Ron Paul Democrat liberals. Muslims from Kenya, too. This is on the internet but I forgot to bookmark it. As soon as I find the link, I’ll update this diary. But it was very believable last night when I was drunk.

Two-Face – probably a politician. Could be almost any Republican. Or the Roman god Janus. Or my ex-wife, who was a Republican named Jennifer Anus (J. Anus). Coincidence, you say? I think not.

Poison Ivy – might represent Oprah Winfrey. Or the daughter of Eugene O’Neill who married Charlie Chaplin. Oona, Oprah. Oprah, Oona. (When I’m outlining a conspiracy, if two things start with the same letter they’re probably connected. Or sometimes I’m high on drugs (like my buddy Rush Limbaugh, whose mother named him after the rush she got from using drugs, then she committed suicide)).

The Riddler – I think this might be that guy on NPR who does the puzzler thing on Sundays and claims that he edits the NYTimes crossword. Will Shortz, whose idea of fun is to invent questions like this: “Remove one of the T’s, rearrange the letters, and you’ll have the name of an actress born in the 1920s who married Charlie Chaplin.”

The Scarecrow – could be either a reference to “Children of the Corn” or “The Wizard of Oz.” The scarecrow wanted a brain, so I’m guessing this could represent GW Bush. Question: Could it be that GW Bush (the Scarecrow) ordered the assassination of Bruce Lee’s son Brandon (The Crow)?  Hey, I’m just asking questions. If you don’t believe me, I challenge you to prove that I’m wrong. If you can’t find evidence that I’m right, that just proves that it’s a big conspiracy to cover up the facts in my fevered brain.

Mr. Freeze – obviously represents the ex-governor of California (listen to that accent!). Not Ronald Reagan. That other guy, from Austria. Or Australia. I get those two mixed up. You know, that country that’s next to Switzerland. Or Sweden.

I might not be available to respond to responses to this diary because I think the FDA and Homeland Security and my grocery store discount card are tapping my email and installing viruses in my wristwatch and barcodes in my urine. My genetically-modified ears of corn are listening to everything I say. And my mercury thermometer is beaming vaccines at me. Thank the flying spaghetti monster the aluminum foil is protecting me.

(and, for anyone who needs a reminder – SNARK!)

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site