At work. Desperately hoping the bursitis flareup I got this morning goes away. I blinked. "What?"
He repeated it. "You look like you're in a lot of pain, ma'am."
My painkillers hadn't kicked in yet. What was the point in lying? "I am."
He nodded. "It shows."
KosAbility is a community diary series posted at 5 PM ET every Sunday and Wednesday by volunteer diarists. This is a gathering place for people who are living with disabilities, who love someone with a disability, or who want to know more about the issues surrounding this topic. There are two parts to each diary. First, a volunteer diarist will offer their specific knowledge and insight about a topic they know intimately. Then, readers are invited to comment on what they've read and/or ask general questions about disabilities, share something they've learned, tell bad jokes, post photos, or rage about the unfairness of their situation. Our only rule is to be kind; trolls will be spayed or neutered.
Great.
He continued from there. "Looks like you've been having some trouble with your hip there, right?"
Well, I've had a few flare-ups from my bursitis, but I honestly thought it was getting much better, until this latest one that just started a day or so ago. Of course, I wasn't going to tell this guy that. "Yeah, some."
"It's arthritis, isn't it? I've got it myself in my hands." He shows me his hands. Big, rough, can't see anything indicating arthritis.
"Nope, bursitis."
"Oh, that!" He nods sagely. "That just gets worse as you get older."
I'm not even forty yet (not that I'm counting...ah, who am I kidding, I am). I don't want to hear this.
"You know," he continues, "that stuff gets into your bones. I knew you had that kind of problem. You've had it for a while, right? I can see it."
What God governs ibuprofen, and making it work even faster?
"Well," I say brightly, "have a good day!" Since I certainly won't have one.
What do you do when other people see that your disability, which you thought was getting better, is getting worse and may even be becoming chronic?
I've felt like hiding.
Sparks in Hiding by ~Windthin on deviantART
I've also felt angry.
Vinnie's Spot 3 by ~Windthin on deviantART
So far, I'm just going with what I did before. Exercises for the bursitis, painkillers for the bursitis, ice for the bursitis, standing up because I can't do intensive walking with the damned bursitis, and keep up with the weightlifting I've been doing since before this latest bad flareup. Trying to remain positive, telling everyone it's gone away before...but has it?
I have no idea what else I could do. Any suggestions?
What do you do when you fear a temporary disability may be becoming permanent?
Hint: Ice cream can solve anything. I prefer this kind, but I'm willing to negotiate.