New York (APN)
A thought experiment submitted recently at an international philosophy symposium has rippled around the world and caused havoc in the field of philosophy at major universities and prestigious centers of learning.
If a tree fell in the woods, and a Kossack* were not there to connect the event to presidential candidate Mitt Romney (and forthwith write a blog about it), did the tree, in fact, fall?
*Kossack is a member of the political blog, Daily Kos
One eminent professor, author, and scholar remarked, under the condition of anonymity, "This question has such far reaching ramifications in philosophical circles that it has confounded the world's most revered and respected thinkers. It's overturned the last four thousand years of philosophical theory. I'm stunned at the significance of what this implies," he intoned, stroking his long, graying beard, his eyes wide in consternation and bewilderment. "And I've got to go in and face my students tomorrow morning, and I cannot fathom what I'm going to tell them. How will I answer their queries? And believe me, there will be countless queries."
Most other leaders in the field refused to go on record about the question, or simply hung up the phone when called by reporters seeking comment. In uncharacteristic, unbridled candor, one of them cried out, "Of all people, why did you call me, for fucks sake? Do you think I want to ruin my career? Damage my reputation as a scholar? Call somebody else!"
Meanwhile, news of the disturbing existential question provoked riots in the streets of Paris, where students left the classrooms in a boycott and overturned police vehicles in trendy nightclub districts near universities. "This is the last straw," one of them screamed at a news camera yesterday. "Americans! They think they have all the answers, but this shows they have once again offended the very meaning of civilization!"