Just to lighten the mood a bit!
In a heart-warming wave of national solidarity, on a hot summer day, hundreds of thousands of Chicken-eaters from all corners of United States gathered at the most enlightened and the most diverse chicken-selling franchise in the history of chicken-selling. While the followers of Colonel Sanders and other chicken-selling enterprises cowered in the kitchens of their abandoned restaurants, the Chick-Filators (that is what they call themselves) led by a fiery Baptist pastor-cum-former presidential candidate, came out in droves to eat chicken and to stand in solidarity with the CEO of Chick-Filator franchise.
“This is really great” said Mttney, a law student from Giberty University, “Like, we can eat chicken and support fiefdom of speech simultaneously at the same time.”
Do you mean “freedom of speech?”
“Yes, whatever, you know, like makes us American and allows us to speak, like you know” Ms. Mittney further added.
There were no instances of violence or disorder except for a few Chick-Filator restaurants in Texas. According to our sources, a brief scuffle occurred at a North Texas campus, when a zoology professor stopped by the campus Chick-Filator store and told the eaters of dead chickens that what they were eating was actually not really chicken but rather an androgynous bio-mass created in labs and that, genetically speaking, the said bio-mass was probably gay.
Hearing this, some valiant frat boys threw chicken wings at the professor and then doused him with the famous Chick-Filator honey sauce. The campus security was soon able to rescue the professor. The Chick-Filator CEO was swift in responding to these absurd allegations about the sexual orientation of chickens sold at their store. In a televised statement, aired by Sox News, the CEO provided the following statement:
As a corporation deeply invested in the Biblical truth and family values, we ensure that all our chickens come from morally sound farms where strict “One rooster one hen policy” is enforced. The chicken that you are eating comes from baptized, heterosexual, properly married chickens.
It seems that the future of America is safe and safely restored. The moral stance taken by the Chick-Filator franchise has brought the righteous of the nation together and has thus provided a worthy cause to unite the nation. The GOP leadership has decided that their convention this year will be catered by the Chick-Filator corporation.
“Why not eat our own politics” said Gute Ninrich, “I mean, what is wrong at insisting that the chicken we eat is properly married and was raised in a traditional one chicken one hen environment,” he further added.
It seems the GOP has finally found a savior in the Chick-Filator Corporation.
Long Live GOP!!