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Science: lands on Mars. Religion: chicken sandwiches and a shooting in Wisconsin.

It’s really not a difficult decision.

The USA just landed on Mars while simultaneously fighting over gay rights involving chicken. Talk about a paradox of a country.

The last two crazed gunmen have been white. That's a pretty clear pattern if you ask me. I expect to be profiled ASAP.

If the Curiosity Rover doesn’t find a three-breasted alien prostitute on Mars, then it was a complete waste of time.

When Mitt Romney walks through Business Class, I bet his first instinct is to cradle passengers like Mother Teresa cradling Calcutta orphans.

Enough about  his tax returns, Mitt Romney needs to release his Netflix queue.

Right now Michael Phelps is holed up at Claridge's and Fergie is flossing his lower mandible while he pours a Coconut Water over her head.

FOX News doesn't call white supremacists "terrorists." They call them "viewers."

Originally posted to jbou on Mon Aug 06, 2012 at 11:55 PM PDT.

Also republished by Astro Kos.

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