omneyhood and his band of only men halted, and lo, we enter Sherwood Forrest, where all the trees are just the right height
. Therein is the Royal Tax Shelter of Prince Willard of Locksley, which is a subsidiary of Bain Capital. His father once vied to be King, a noble man in the age of Nixon, and now young Willard must make his way against the dreaded Dark Knight who now illegitimately holds claim to the land. Verily, Prince Willard and his merry men lay claim to a bridge passing over a river and bar passage to all unless they meet their noble worth. So Willard of Locksley, a subsidiary of Bain, and all of his men hid under the bridge and waited for the right kind of passer by.
Find out more about the medieval adventures of Romneyhood below the fold . . .
Redistributing the wealth
A few wealthy merchants approach the narrow bridge with carts laden with fine goods. Prince Willard and his men leap forward and shout "Stop!" and Lord Willard addressed them, "this will just take a minute . . "
And a minute passed.
"Get on with it" The wealthy merchants demanded.
But Prince Willard and his men just stood there.
And some more minutes passed before some lowly peasants, men and women struggling to find work with their young and old from down yonder came and approached the bridge. Suddenly Prince Willard strode forth and his men sprang out from under the bridge; "Give us your money and your goods, for it is I, Prince Romneyhood of Locksley, a subsidiary of Bain Capital, and I shall be you new King!"
So Prince Willard and his men took them all the peasants hostage, and they took the few belongings they had away from the sick and the children, the old and the rest, and he gave it to the wealthy merchants who went on their merry way.
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Let them eat fake